WALEVI WAWILI KATIKA MAZUNGUMZO YAOMLEVI 1 hivi rafiki yangu china ni mbali kweliMLEVI 2 sidhani mbona pale kazin kuna mchina anakuja na baiskeli😆😆😆😆😆 Read and Write Comments

Mtoto: Mama, hivi kabla hujanizaa uliniona!?
Mama: Hapana mwanangu sijakuona.

Jana nilipanda daladala nikapata seat nikaketi, nikawa nimejiachia ninachati kwenye simu yangu(Smart phone), kukawa na jamaa kasimama pembeni yangu, ye hakupata seat. Sasa akawa anasoma message zangu bila aibu yani anafutilia ninavyochati… Basi nikasema ngoja nimtie Adabu mshenzi huyu…. Nikacheck saa yangu yamkononi kisha nikatext: “Oya Ben Kwaheri bwana, zimebaki sekunde 30 tu hili bomu💣 lilipuke… …

Kilichompata huyu anayependa kusoma SMS za watu kwenye daladala Read More »

Nimeingia chumban nikakuta panya wamekula dawa yangu ya minyoo, Na mimi nimechukua yakwao nikanywa. Sipendagi ujinga mm!! 😏😏😏 Read and Write Comments

“`Nimetoka interview hapa ya job flani Wameniuliza “so how far did you go with your education?”, nikawaambia.. “””””I didn’t go very far because our school was just behind our house””” wameniambia ningojee watanipigia!“`……. 😀 *your prayers plz* Read and Write Comments

Kama ni ubahili hapa umezidi mdada Bby naomba hela nimpeleke mdogo wangu hospital kang’atwa na nyoka JAmaa embu mpe huyo nyoka cm niongee nae.. maisha yanakaba..😂😂 Read and Write Comments

Dogo: mama hivi malaika si wanapaa?
Mama: ndiyo wanapaa, kwanini umeniuliza hivyo?
Dogo: nimesikia baba jana anamuita dada (housegir) malaika wangu, kwa hiyo nae atapaa?

Kuwa na binti aliyeacha shule ni BALAA. Anaweza kukuacha kwa staili ileile alotumia kuacha SHULE 😅😅😅😅😅 Read and Write Comments

Mchaga alinunua mbuzi akamwambia mpishi Nyama nusu ipike pilau na ingine itie kwenye friza. Kichwa fanya supu, miguu fanya mchuzi chukuchuku. Ngozi usitupe tutafanya mswala, utumbo pikia ndizi na mifupa tutawauzia wenye mbwa. Kinyesi kihifadhi kwa mbolea ya bustani. Mpishi akamuuliza Hutaki na sauti ya mbuzi tufanye ring tone kwenye simu yako? Mchaga akajibu Yesuu! …

Wachaga kweli kiboko: Mcheki huyu mchaga na mbuzi!!! Read More »

Leo kuna mdogo wangu nimemtumia meseji nimemuomba aniazime chaja yake ya simu. Akanijibu 21002 Nikawa mkali nikamuambia kuchajia mara moja tu ndio HELA yote hio si bora nikanunue Chaja yangu mpya. Akaniambia nimesema TUMIA TU 😂😂mtatuua na lugha zenu😜 Read and Write Comments

Jamaa kaingia mgahawani kwa fujoJAMAA : Nipe soda moja na kila mtu mpe yake maana ninapokunywa soda napenda kila mtu anyweWATU : Ha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa!JAMAA : Nipe mchemsho na kila mtu mpe wa kwake maana ninapokula mchemsho napenda kila mtu ale wakeWATU: Watu weweeee! Tena safari hii Na makofi juu..JAMAA : Mhudumu, nipe bili na kila mtu mpe yake …

Huyu jamaa kawaweza wapenda vya bure Read More »

Mzungu akamdharau sana Mbongo nakujiona anajua kila kitu duniani!,
Akamwambia Mbongo waulizane maswali na Mbongo akishindwa anatoa sh.500 na endapo yeye atashindwa atatoa 100,000/=.
Mzungu akauliza ni nchi ipi ilishindwa kwenye vita kuu ya kwanza ya Dunia?
Mbongo akatoa 500 kuashiria hajui.

MKE..mume wangu unaweza kuua simba kwasababu yangu??? MME: Hapana mke wangu, sema kingine MKE:unaweza kunipa nione watsapp yako nione msgs? MME: Haya sema huyo simba yukwap nikamuue Read and Write Comments

Fanya hivi Ukitaka mwanaume akusaidie kazi jikoni mwambie “NAOMBA CM YAKO NIWASHE TOCHI TAA IMEUNGUA”atakusaidia kumulika mpaka unamaliza kazi zako zoote😂 Read and Write Comments

HAKUNA MTU MWENYE MBIO, KAMA MSICHANA ALIYEPAKA MAKE UP ALAFU MVUA INYESHE….. 😂😂 Read and Write Comments

Sitasahau mwaka ule ambapo nilipeleka barua ya maombi yangu ya kazi kwenye kampuni moja maarufu. Wakati nasubiri majibu siku moja nikaenda kwa mama ntilie kununua maandazi akanifungia vizuri, kufika nyumbani hamu yote ya maandazi iliniishia pale nilipogundua karatasi iliyofungiwa maandazi ni barua yangu ya kuombea kazi😂😂 Read and Write Comments

Hiki ndiyo kifo. KIFO NI NINI.. Kifo ni pale girlfriend wako anapofanya fujo Club akiwatukana MABAUSA Huku akisema “BABY WANGU HATA HAWAOGOPI” 😀😀😀😀 Read and Write Comments

Siku moja msichana alikuwa anapita maeneo ya A.T.M gafla
akamuona boyfriend wake anatoa pesa kwenye A.T.M binti
akaamua kujificha na kumtumia boyfriend wake sms ya
kimahaba

Baada ya mwizi kuvunja mlango huko Tarime, akaingia kwenye stoo akaona vinyama kwenye bakuli vikiwa vimekauka. Akaonja 1 akaona kitamu na kina chumvi! Akavila vyote. Alipomaliza akaangalia juu ya mlango akaona pameandikwa; “chumba cha UKEKETAJI WANAWAKE”. Unafikiri atakuwa amekula nini? Read and Write Comments

Duh! Sikubali bora mbavu zituume wote! Watalii wana dharau sana bana, Mtalii alikodi boti akazunguka nayo kwenye mto Rufiji kuangalia mandhari, akamuuliza kijana anayeongoza boti, “Do you know Biology, Psychology and Anthropology?” Kijana akajibu “NO,” Mtalii akamwambia “nothing you know under the sun? You are useless, and u’ll die with your illiteracy!” baada ya muda …

Kichekesho cha mtalii na mbongo Read More »