Brilliant Answers by a Student who got 0% Marks.
Question .1 – In which battle did Tipu Sultan Died ?
Ans.- In his Last Battle.
Question .2- What is the Main Reason for Divorce ?.
Ans.- Marriage.
Question .3- Ganga Flows in which State ?
Ans.- Liquid State.
Question .4- When was Mahatma Gandhi Born?
Ans.- On His Birthday
A man received an unknown call..
Girl : hello do you have a gf??
Man : no, who are you darling?
Girl : M ur girl friend Diana, hate u
Again man got a call
Girl : do u have a gf??
Man : yes darling
Girl : m ur wife Alice, hate u
Man : oh sorry honey i didn’t recognise u
Girl : m Diana i knew it that u have a wife, Hate u liar…
Man : wtf….. :-P:-D
If a BARBER makes a
mistake,
it’s a new style. .
If a POLITICIAN makes a
mistake,
it’s a new law. .
If a SCIENTIST makes a
mistake,
it’s a new invention. .
If a TAILOR makes a
mistake,
it’s a new fashion. .
If a TEACHER makes a
mistake,
it’s a new theory. .
If a STUDENT makes a
mistake,
it’s a “MISTAKE” .
This iz cheating…
An 8-‐year-‐old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard. She asked him, “Daddy, what is sex?”
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but decides that if she is old enough to ask the question, then she is old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the ‘birds and the bees’. When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with her mouth hanging open. The father asked her, “Why did you ask this question?”
The little girl replied, “Mom told me to tell you that dinner would be ready in just a couple of secs.
Two cannibals are sitting around eating a clown. One clown says to the other, “Does this taste funny to you?”
A woman doesn’t
come home one night. The
next day she tells her
husband that she had slept
over at a girlfriend’s house. The husband calls his wife’s
10 best friends. None of
them know anything about
it.A man doesn’t come home
one night. The next day he tells his wife that he had
slept over at a friend’s
house. The wife calls her
husband’s 10 best men
friends. Eight of them
confirm that he had slept over, and two claim that he
was still there
If a girL has
baLance in her ceLL, then she
has a boy friend,
—
If a boy has baLance in his
ceLL, then he has no girL
friend.
Did you hear about the ice-‐cream man, he was found dead in his ice-‐cream van, covered in chocolate sauce and hundreds-‐and-‐thousands? The police said that he had ?topped? himself.
Written by a confident lady …😄
After a meeting, I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room, it wasn’t there too.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.
My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them …….
His theory is the car will be stolen if left at the ignition key slot !
Immediately, I rushed to the parking lot and came to a terrifying conclusion …..
His theory was right. The parking lot was empty 😱😞😞.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, description of the car, place I parked, etc. I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that the car had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, to my husband,
I left my keys in the car …. and it has been stolen.”
There was a big silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.
“Idiot”, he shouted, “I dropped you at the hotel !”
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, and happy as well, I said, “Well, then pls come and get me.”
He shouted again, “I will, as soon as I convince this policeman, that I have not stolen your car.” 😁😁
Don’t laugh alone 😄😄😅😅😂😂
Send to other husbands or wives because ….
So many things go wrong daily, and you can’t blame yourself all the times 😉😊😆
~~ Shared as received
2 Lovers decided to suicide…! . . . Boy jumped 1st, Girl Closed her eyes n returned Home… . . . Boy In the Air Opened the Parachute n Said I knew that Bitch won’t “jump.! . . . From that day onwards people started saying . Ladies First
BOY: do u luv me
GIRL: no
BOY: think again
GIRL: i told u No
BOY: waitr bring separate bills
GIRL:: -Ooh Baby I luv u
The Equation of Marriage:
7 Glances = 1 Smile
7 Smiles = 1 Meeting
7 Meetings = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposals = 1 Marriage
And that 1 marriage has 77777+
problems.
A year has 365 days
Sundays :52
balance :313 summer
holidays:50
bal:263days
8hours daily sleep means 122
days
bal:141days
1 hour daily playing means
15days
bal:126days
2 hours daily foodmeans 30 days
bal:96days
1hr 4 talking means15 days
bal:81days
exam days total in year 35days
bal:46 days
festival 40days
bal:6day
sickness 3days,movies & functions
at least2days,
balance-1day,
that 1 day is Ur birthday
HOW CAN A STUDENT PASS?
Boy: Marry me?
Girl: Do you have a house?
Boy: No..
Girl: Do you have a BMW car?
Boy: No..
Girl: How much is your salary?
Boy: No salary.. but..
Girl: No but. You have nothing. How can I marry you? Just leave me, please!!
Boy: I have one villa, 3 property lands, 3 Ferraris, 2Porsches.. Why do I still needto buy BMW?! How can I get salary when actually I am the BOSS?
Girl : wanna get married ?
Boy: NO !
.
.
.
‘Save Earth,
This is The Only Planet
Where U Get Girls.!
When two girls are fighting over you, my brother i advice you to watch the fight to the end. Then marry the loser because *you can’t afford to have Mike Tyson as a wife.😃😃😃
Unknown Calls ;
He : Hey , Do you have boy friend ?
She : Yes , Who are you ?
He : Im your brother , Just wait till
i come home !
Another Unknown call
He : Hey , Do you have boyfriend ?
She : No !
He : Im your boyfriend ,You just
broke my heart
She : Sorry , I thought it was my
brother !
He : Haha ! Im your brother Let
me reach the house
Boy: You look Exactly Like my Wife.! Girl: Ohhh..What’s your Wife Name? Boy: I’m not Married yet !
