Vituko Vya Msimu Huu

Hii ndio ngoma droo kwa wanaume kati ya wanawake

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

{ NGOMA DROO}
Sikuizi utawasikia wadada wakisema kuachwa na mwanaume asie na pesa nisawa na kuluhusiwa hospital

{Sasa na sisi} wanaume tunasema
Kuachwa na demu mpenda pesa nisawa na kumaliza mkopo benk 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Wanaume atutakagi ujinga!!!! Wanaume heeeeee🏃🏾‍♂🏃🏾‍♂🏃🏾‍♂🏃🏾‍♂

Read and Write Comments

Huu ndio Umuhimu wa English katika mapenzi

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

HUU NDO UMUHIMU WA ENGLISH KATIKA MAPENZI

jaribu kumwita mpenzi wako “my sweet potato” atakuelewa ila mwite kwa kiswaili ” kiazi wangu mbatata”hiyo itakuwa vita ya tatu ya dunia😁😁

Read and Write Comments

Huyu mtoto kaongea point kweli, angalia anachomwambia baba yake

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Mtoto alimwuuliza baba yake,
Mtoto: Baba unaweza kumwachia hilo gari lako house boy/girl akaliendesha?
Baba: siwezi kumwachia gari langu hili aliendeshe ni ghali sana.
Mtoto: je mnaweza kumwachia chumba chenu house boy/girl kikiwa wazi na mkaenda kazini?
Baba: haiwezekani kamwe kuna vitu vya gharama na pia heshima haitakuwepo.

Mtoto: unaweza ukampa house boy/girl ATM CARD yako na namba ya siri ukakuchulie pesa?

Baba: mtoto unatafuta balaa sasa, unataka siku akiiba hii card akachukue pesa zote tuwe maskini, sithubutu.

Mtoto: aahaaaaaa, kumbe hauwezi kumkabidhi chochote chenye thamani house boy/ girl, sasa kwa nini mnanikabidhi mimi kwa house boy/girl na nyie mnaenda kazini mpaka mnarudi kumbe mimi sina thamani kwenu eeeeh!

Read and Write Comments

Muda ambao unaweza kumzoea dingi

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Muda pekee ambao unaweza kumzoea DINGI ni pale unapomfundisha kutumia SMARTPHONE….

Wanakuwaga wapole sana aisee unaweza hata kumuagiza maji ya kunywa akakuletea….

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Read and Write Comments

Omba omba sio barabarani tuu

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Boy:- baby ivi nikifa utakuja msibani?

Girl:-ntakuja ukinitumia nauli.

Hapo ndo unagundua kuwa sio kila omba omba yuko barabarani.

🤒🤒🤒🤒🤒🤔

Read and Write Comments

Tofauti ya ukopaji wa mzungu na mswahili

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

MZUNGU: Hi, I need $100, will pay back on Monday

MSWAHILI: Kaka vipi, shwari? Dah.. hatuonani mzee, mishe vipi, mnatunyima nini? Juzi nimekuona kwa mbaaali… mzee shavu dodo, full kipupwe! Sie tupo bwana, shida tu, afu misiba mingi tu, wife nae kajifungua ghafla. Sasa, kuna cheque naisubiri haijatoka hadi leo, wanasema itatoka next week, hapa nimekwama kweli. Naweza pata ‘Laki Moja’ ya karibu hapo nitarudisha mwisho wa mwezi…?😂😂😂😂😂

Read and Write Comments

Angalia huyu mgonjwa

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Mngojwa: daktari Nina tatizo la kusahausahau kila dakika.

Daktari: hilo tatizo lilianza lini?

Mngojwa:tatizo lipi?

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Read and Write Comments

Angalia mchezo wa kutuma message mara zikubali mara zikatae.. Lilishakukuta hili???

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

GARLFREND»»hellow sweetheart

BOYFREND»»hellow darling(SENDING FAILED)

GARLFREND»»kwanin hutaki kujibu sms yangu,au huna mda»??

BOYFREND»>najitahid kukujibu lakin mtandao unasumbua,imefika??(SENDING FAILED)

GARLFREND»»kama hunipend bhas usinijbu,kama unanipenda kwel bhas nijibu

BOYFREND»»i love you (SENDING FAILED)
GALFREND»»do you lov me????

BOYFREND»»i lov you baby(SENDING FAILED)

GARLFREND»»usiongee na mimi tenaaaaa

BOYFREND»»i love you sweetieeee(SENDING FAILED)

GARLFREND»»unataka mim na wew tuachaneee????

BOYFREND»»nshachoka mie na huu upUmbavu,shenz (MESSAGE SENT)

👆👆👆👆👆😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄👆👆👆👆😄😄😄😄👆👆😄😄👆👆

Read and Write Comments

Kilichotokea baada ya polisi wa kibongo kukutana na mwizi mzungu

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

POLISI KAKAMATA MZUNGU ‘yestaday I saw u at ze maize shop..(jana nilikuona dukani kwa muhindi) when u saw me u started 2 six six.(uliponiona ulianza ku-sitasita) u ran n decided 2 plant a car.(ulikimbia na ukaamua kupanda gari) zen u pot-cry me through ze window.(kisha ukanichungulia dirishani) now sleep down n snake well b4 I cut u a millet.(sasa lala chini kisha nyooka vizuri kabla sijakukata mtama) Chezea lugha wewe..!!!

Read and Write Comments

Watu wana vimaneno

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Eti linalo jamba ni tumbo makalio ni spika tu

Dah!!

Nimecheka hadi basi leo

😸😸😹😹

Read and Write Comments

Soma alichokisema mlevi baada ya kukuta watu wakimpiga mwizi

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Mlevi mmoja aliona wananchi wakipiga mwizi akawaambia “mwacheni msimpige, hii tabia yenu ya kupiga wezi mtakuja shtukia mnampiga Yesu, maana imeandikwa atakuja kama mwizi!”

Read and Write Comments

Jamaa amkomesha boss wake

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Kuna jamaa alifutwa kazi…

Ikawa kila siku anaenda nyumbani kwa boss wake na kunya mlango wa mbele… Ikawa hv…
boss: _mbona waja kunya kwangu?_
jamaa: _nataka kukuonesha kuwa silali njaa_
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Read and Write Comments

Ungekua wewe ndio mama wa huyu mtoto ungemfanyaje?

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Kuna mtoto mmoja aliamka kutoka usingizini alipokuwa kalala na mama yake na kupiga kelele “mamaa” mama yake akaamka na kumwambia nin mwnangu mtoto akajibu “mama nimeota ndoto mbaya sana” ndoto gani hyo mwanangu mtoto akajibu “nimeota tumefungua shule”

😂😂😂😂😂

🌚🌚Kibaooooo nyau wewe

Read and Write Comments

Tenda Wema Uende Zako

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Nimekuta panya ana struggle kuingia chini ya mlango wa jirani yangu…

Nikagonga mlango Jirani kafungua panya akapenya mi nkaenda zangu…..

Tenda Wema Uende Zako!!! Sipendi Ujinga mimi kwanini panya wa watu apate shida

Read and Write Comments

Chezea paka wewe, Angalia kilichomkuta huyu na paka wake

237 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Jamaa alichukua paka wake na kwenda kumtupa
mbal,aliporudi nyumban alimkuta paka
amekwisharudi,jamaa alikasirika sana.

Siku ya 2
akamchukua na kwenda naye zaid ya kilometa 50
akapiga chochoro za kutosha kisha
akamtupa,akaanza safar ya kurud nyumban
baada ya muda akampigia cm mkewe.Vp mke
wangu huyo paka yupo? MKE:Ndio mume wangu
tena ametulia hapa kwan imekuaje? JAMAA:hebu
mpe cm anielekeze njia ya kurud nimepotea😳

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Read and Write Comments

Bangi si mchezo, Angalia kilichowakuta hawa

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Bangi si mchezo!
Jamaa kaikoleza si ikamtuma avue nguo!
Akavua nguo zote akaenda kwenye kioo, kujitazama akaona kama kavaa suti!
then akaenda kama alivyo zaliwa kwa masela wenzake akawauliza vp suti imenikaa? Mvuta bangi mwenzie akamwambia “imekutoa kinyama ila tai umeifunga chini sana”.

Read and Write Comments

Mambo makuu matatu waafrika tusiyoyajua

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

NIMEKAA NIKAWAZA 🙇🏼 KUWA KUNA MAMBO KAMA MATATU HIVI👌🏻 WAAFRIKA HATUYAJUI 🙉
KAMA TUNGEKUWA TUNAYAJUA HATA HAWA WAMAREKANI,🇺🇸WACHINA🇯🇵 NA HATA WATU WA ULAYA TUNGEKUWA🇽🇪 TUNAWAPITA KIMAENDELEO
MAMBO YENYEWE,,
HATA MIMI SIYAJUI MAANA NA MIMI NI MWAFRIKA 😂😂😂😂

Read and Write Comments

Cheki huyu kiherehere alivyojibiwa

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Za asubuhi?

Nzur sjui huko?

Huku kwema tuu

VP si ulimaliza chuo ww?

Ndio kwani vp?

Mbona hatuoni matunda yake?

Kwani mi nlienda na miche ya mipapai au miembe au umeambiwa TIA, IFM na IAA wanakodisha Mashamba ya nyanya ????????

Hamna sio hvyo umeenda mbali kaka

Kama kilomita ngapi?

Haya yaishe bhana…

Ukome kwa kiherehere

Nitukane tuu unakumbuka kuna SKU nlkupa buku ya nauli?

Nitajie namba yako ya tgo pesa nkuwekee hyo buku

Kwani mi nimesema unilipe

Utajua mwenyewe ila nakutumia kwenye namba uliyonitext wee si umefanya ujinga mi nafanya upumbavu

Simple lyke dat Viherehere huwa tunawajbu HVO……😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆😆

Read and Write Comments

Kuwa na mahusiano na msichana kama huyu ni changamoto, Mabinti bwana!

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Binti: Hallow mpenzi, Mambo

Jamaa: Poa baby

Binti:Uko wapi?

Jamaa: Niko town napata lunch

Binti: Wow unarudi saa ngap? Nina njaa dear naomba uniletee msosi

Jamaa: Narudi baada ya nusu saa nikuletee nini?

Binti: Niletee chipsi kuku, soseji, mayai manne ya kukaangwa pembeni, baga, piza, coke take away baridi, mkate wa moto kwenye ile bekari ya wapemba na maji ya kunywa ya kiimanjaro.

Jamaa:Umesahau viti, meza, masufuria, sahani na beseni na vijiko.

Binti: Kwanini dear?

Jamaa: Naona hutaki kula unataka kufungua hoteli!

Read and Write Comments

KICHEKESHO: Ukiona masikini Kachinja kuku

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Ukiona masikin kachinja kuku basi kat ya kuku au yeye kuna mmoja atakua mgonjwa 😆😆😆😆

Read and Write Comments

Activity	Status	Started	Ended	Remarks
AckySHINE App development	Active	January 2021	Ongoing	Create Mobile application for AckySHINE
Full redesigning	Active	November 2020	Ongoing	Move to another platform. Other URLs will change
Research Consultancy	Completed	June 2018	August 2018	Consultation services
Monitoring and evaluation	Completed	June 2018	August 2018	Consultation services
Training and facilitation	Completed	June 2018	August 2018	Consultation services
Change from content publisher web to service provider	Active	June 2018	Ongoing	Change from blog to service provider website.
English to Swahili Translation services	Completed	August 2017	September 2017	All translation services
Web designing and development	Completed	January 2017	March 2017	Multiple platform
AckySHINE Market	Closed	July 2015	January 2017	Closed Permanent
AckySHINE Kutafutana	Closed	April 2016	June 2020	Closed permanent
AckySHINE Dedication	Pending	June 2018	Ongoing	Coming soon
Designing AckySHINE Shop	Completed	February 2017	February 2017	AckySHINE Shop is a collection of digital products
Designing AckySHINE Library	Completed	November 2016	November 2017	Pdf Library for reading and downloading pdf
English Website Content creation	Pending	August 2016	May 2018	Creation of New posts ceased.
Swahili Catholic Website	Pending	March 2015	May 2018	Creation of New posts ceased.
Swahili website Content creation	Pending	January 2015	May 2018	Creation of New posts ceased.
Advertising and marketing	Active	March 2015	Ongoing	Ads Displaying and Guest posts
Website creation	Completed	January 2015	January 2015	This website was created on 7 Jan 2015, 18:41.

Activity	Nature	Description
Research Consultancy	Offline	Research Consultation services
Monitoring and evaluation	Offline	M&E Consultation services
Training and facilitation	Offline	Training and Facilitation Consultation services
English to Swahili Translation services	Offline	English Swahili translation services
Web designing and development	Offline	Multiple platforms
AckySHINE Market	Closed	Closed Permanent
AckySHINE Kutafutana	Closed	Closed permanent
AckySHINE Dedication	Pending	Coming soon
Designing AckySHINE Shop	Pending	AckySHINE Shop is a collection of digital products
Designing AckySHINE Library	Pending	Pdf Library for reading and downloading pdf
English Website Content creation	Pending	Creation of New posts ceased. Old posts are available
Swahili Catholic Website	Pending	Creation of New posts ceased. Old posts are available
Swahili website Content creation	Pending	Creation of New posts ceased. Old posts are available
Advertising and marketing	Online	Ads Displaying and Guest posts

Vituko Vya Msimu Huu

HUU NDO UMUHIMU WA ENGLISH KATIKA MAPENZI

jaribu kumwita mpenzi wako “my sweet potato” atakuelewa ila mwite kwa kiswaili ” *kiazi wangu mbatata*”hiyo itakuwa vita ya tatu ya dunia😁😁

MZUNGU: Hi, I need $100, will pay back on Monday

Eti linalo jamba ni tumbo makalio ni spika tu

Dah!!

Nimecheka hadi basi leo

😸😸😹😹

Mlevi mmoja aliona wananchi wakipiga mwizi akawaambia “mwacheni msimpige, hii tabia yenu ya kupiga wezi mtakuja shtukia mnampiga Yesu, maana imeandikwa atakuja kama mwizi!”

Kuna mtoto mmoja aliamka kutoka usingizini alipokuwa kalala na mama yake na kupiga kelele “mamaa” mama yake akaamka na kumwambia nin mwnangu mtoto akajibu “mama nimeota ndoto mbaya sana” ndoto gani hyo mwanangu mtoto akajibu “nimeota tumefungua shule”

🌚🌚Kibaooooo nyau wewe

Ukiona masikin kachinja kuku basi kat ya kuku au yeye kuna mmoja atakua mgonjwa 😆😆😆😆

jaribu kumwita mpenzi wako “my sweet potato” atakuelewa ila mwite kwa kiswaili ” kiazi wangu mbatata”hiyo itakuwa vita ya tatu ya dunia😁😁