Mending Hearts: A Comprehensive Guide to Emotional Healing and Relationship Growth

Human relationships are fundamental to a fulfilling life, offering joy, companionship, and opportunities for personal development. However, relational dynamics can also be a source of significant emotional distress. Therefore, cultivating emotional resilience within a relationship is crucial for establishing a robust and thriving partnership. Although challenging, this process is attainable with commitment, mutual understanding, and a strategic approach. This guide provides frameworks and techniques to navigate this transformative journey effectively.

Addressing Past Trauma and Seeking Professional Support

Many relational challenges originate from unresolved past traumas or persistent issues. These latent wounds significantly influence present dynamics, hindering emotional intimacy and escalating recurring conflicts. Applying the principles of attachment theory, we understand that early childhood experiences can shape adult relationship patterns. Unresolved attachment anxieties, for instance, might manifest as heightened sensitivity to rejection or difficulty expressing vulnerability in current relationships. Seeking professional assistance, such as couples therapy or individual counseling, offers a structured setting to confront these underlying issues and cultivate healthier coping mechanisms. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) could be particularly useful in identifying and modifying negative thought patterns and behaviors contributing to relationship difficulties. A therapist can facilitate difficult dialogues, guide emotional processing, and equip partners with strategies for improved communication and conflict resolution, thereby fostering a more secure attachment style.

Unlocking Transformation: Forgiveness and Open Communication

Forgiveness is paramount to emotional liberation. It does not imply condoning harmful actions but rather signifies releasing the grip of negativity and resentment. This act of self-compassion paves the way for healing and rebuilding trust, strengthening the relational foundation. Drawing on the tenets of restorative justice, we can view forgiveness not merely as a personal act, but as a process that contributes to relational repair and reconciliation. The timeline for forgiveness is inherently personal and unique to each individual. Patience and self-awareness are crucial throughout this process. Open and honest communication forms the bedrock of any healthy relationship. Creating a secure environment where partners can freely express emotions, needs, and concerns without fear of judgment is essential. Applying principles of effective communication, such as active listening, empathy, and perspective-taking (as suggested by the Johari Window model), enhances mutual understanding and facilitates healing. This shared vulnerability strengthens the relational bond and provides a solid foundation for sustained growth. Mastering communication techniques enhances the ability to navigate challenging conversations and promote mutual understanding.

Releasing Past Hurts: The Initial Phase of Healing

The initial stage frequently involves the arduous yet crucial task of releasing past hurts. Lingering anger, resentment, or unresolved pain impede the healing process, creating a cycle of negativity that obstructs progress. Releasing these emotions is fundamental to moving forward. This does not equate to forgetting or minimizing past hurts; rather, it entails freeing oneself from the burden of carrying that pain. This liberation creates the space for genuine healing and relational growth. This process can be supported by mindfulness techniques and emotional regulation strategies, allowing individuals to process their emotions in a healthy and constructive manner.

Prioritizing Self-Care: Nourishing Your Emotional Well-being

Prioritizing self-care is essential throughout this healing journey. Engaging in activities that nurture the mind, body, and spirit fosters resilience and facilitates navigating emotional challenges with greater ease. This could involve mindfulness practices, pursuing hobbies, spending time with supportive individuals, or dedicating time to activities that bring joy and relaxation. Self-compassion, a core tenet of self-care, involves treating oneself with kindness and understanding, especially during setbacks. Remember that self-care is not selfish; it’s fundamental for effective emotional healing. Journaling offers a powerful tool for processing emotions, enhancing self-awareness, and tracking progress. Using journaling prompts focused on specific emotions or relational dynamics deepens self-understanding. Cultivating gratitude, even amidst difficulties, shifts perspective. Focusing on positive aspects of the relationship, expressing appreciation for the partner, and acknowledging shared love and support fosters a more positive and healing environment. Gratitude strengthens the bond and promotes a more optimistic outlook.

Establishing Boundaries: Protecting Your Emotional Health

Healing may necessitate making difficult decisions, including establishing healthy boundaries, addressing toxic patterns, or even ending a relationship detrimental to well-being. Prioritizing emotional health and happiness is paramount. Setting boundaries is not selfish; it’s an act of self-respect and a necessary step toward creating a healthier future, both individually and within the relationship. Clear and respectful boundaries improve communication and reduce the likelihood of future conflicts. Celebrating progress, acknowledging milestones, and recognizing achieved growth reinforce positive behaviors and encourage continued progress. This journey towards healing is a testament to one’s strength and resilience.

Conclusions and Recommendations

Emotional healing within relationships is a complex but achievable process. Addressing past traumas, fostering open communication, practicing forgiveness, prioritizing self-care, and establishing healthy boundaries are all critical components. The application of therapeutic models like CBT and attachment theory, coupled with effective communication strategies, can significantly aid this process. While the journey is non-linear, consistent effort and a shared commitment to growth and understanding yield positive outcomes. Further research could explore the long-term effects of various therapeutic interventions on relationship satisfaction and overall well-being following periods of significant relational distress. The development of culturally sensitive interventions is also crucial to address the diverse needs of individuals within various relational contexts.

Reader Pool: Considering the multifaceted nature of emotional healing within relationships, what additional factors beyond those discussed would you consider essential for achieving lasting relational well-being?

Cultivating Emotional Maturity: A Foundation for Enduring Romantic Partnerships

Enduring romantic relationships are not static entities; rather, they represent dynamic systems characterized by continuous growth and transformation within a framework of shared experiences. This ongoing process fosters significant emotional maturity, enriching both the relational dynamic and the individual growth of each partner. The focus extends beyond mere survival of life’s challenges; it emphasizes the transformative potential of mutual support and understanding in shaping individual and relational identities. This perspective aligns with the principles of Attachment Theory, highlighting the secure base provided by a committed relationship that facilitates exploration and emotional development.

The inherent security of a committed relationship provides an optimal environment for personal development. This secure attachment fosters a climate where emotional exploration and vulnerability are encouraged, free from fear of judgment. This, in turn, promotes increased self-awareness and self-acceptance, core components of emotional intelligence as defined by Goleman. Open and honest communication, a cornerstone of relational success according to Gottman’s research on marital stability, becomes paramount, serving as a conduit for expressing needs, desires, and anxieties—essential elements of emotional maturity. This shared journey of self-discovery strengthens the relational bond while simultaneously enriching the individual experience of each partner. The expression of anxieties and vulnerabilities within a secure context contributes significantly to relational health and evolution.

Consider the developmental trajectory of a couple navigating life’s transitions. Initially, they might exhibit characteristics associated with early adulthood; however, as they encounter inevitable challenges – such as career changes, financial difficulties, or familial crises – they cultivate resilience and emotional fortitude. These shared experiences foster a deeper understanding of each other’s strengths and weaknesses, thereby leading to personal growth and a more profound connection. The development of effective communication, skillful compromise, and unwavering support are crucial life skills that transcend the confines of the romantic relationship itself. The successful navigation of shared adversity strengthens not only the relational bond but also enhances the individual emotional resilience of each partner, aligning with the concept of stress-inoculation training.

Long-term partnerships offer abundant opportunities for introspection and self-improvement. The unwavering support of a committed partner empowers individuals to confront personal shortcomings and strive for self-enhancement. For instance, a partner grappling with anger management issues can utilize the relationship as a secure base to acknowledge the problem, seek professional assistance, and develop healthier coping mechanisms. This process of self-discovery is not solely an individual endeavor; rather, it is nurtured and supported by the very foundation of the relationship. A supportive partner acts as a catalyst, facilitating personal growth and positive behavioral change, mirroring the therapeutic alliance in a client-therapist relationship.

However, emotional growth within a romantic relationship is not always a linear progression. Setbacks and challenges are inevitable. Periods of conflict and adjustment present opportunities for learning and growth. The willingness to embrace change, coupled with unwavering commitment and mutual understanding, is essential for navigating these complexities and emerging stronger as a couple. This dynamic aligns with the principles of Systems Theory, recognizing the relationship as an interconnected system where change in one part affects the whole. The ability to adapt and grow through challenging times is a hallmark of successful, long-term romantic relationships.

The positive effects of this shared emotional growth extend beyond the confines of the romantic relationship. A fulfilling partnership provides a robust foundation for success in other life domains. Individuals who experience emotional security and support are better equipped to excel in their professional endeavors, cultivate meaningful friendships, and pursue personal aspirations with renewed vigor and confidence. This positive ripple effect is undeniable. This enhanced emotional well-being translates into improved performance across various aspects of life, consistent with findings in positive psychology.

Envision a couple confronting a significant financial setback. The resulting stress undoubtedly tests the relational strength. However, through open and honest communication and collaborative problem-solving, they not only navigate the crisis but emerge with strengthened bonds and enhanced problem-solving skills. This shared experience serves as a testament to their resilience and adaptability, enriching their emotional landscape both individually and as a couple. Overcoming adversity collaboratively strengthens the relational bond and fosters a deeper sense of shared accomplishment, illustrating the power of collective efficacy.

Emotional growth in long-term relationships is a continuous process, reflecting the continuous evolution of individuals throughout their lifespan. The relationship itself evolves and matures alongside its partners. Embracing change, actively pursuing personal development, and nurturing the relational dynamics are essential for fostering a thriving, fulfilling partnership that endures. The commitment to ongoing growth is crucial for maintaining a strong and vibrant relationship.

The journey of a long-term romantic relationship is not solely about endurance; it is about transformation and shared growth. It stands as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and the capacity of love to profoundly and enduringly shape and enrich our lives. Further research could explore the specific mediating factors that contribute to emotional growth within long-term relationships, and investigate the long-term effects of relationship-based emotional growth on individual well-being across the lifespan. This ongoing exploration would deepen our understanding of the complex interplay between individual and relational development.

Cultivating Emotionally Safe Friendships: A Relational Approach

In contemporary society, characterized by increased connectivity yet often accompanied by feelings of isolation, the significance of authentic friendships cannot be overstated. This article examines the fundamental components of emotional safety within close friendships, focusing on the crucial roles of trust and authenticity in fostering robust and enduring bonds. We will explore these elements through the lens of social exchange theory, attachment theory, and the concept of relational dialectics, offering practical strategies for cultivating deeper, more meaningful connections.

Trust as a Foundational Element: Trust, a cornerstone of any successful interpersonal relationship, is significantly influenced by social exchange theory. This theory posits that relationships are built upon a cost-benefit analysis. In the context of friendship, consistent acts of kindness, reliability, and empathetic support act as “positive deposits” into a relational “bank account.” These deposits, accumulated over time, create a reserve that buffers the friendship against inevitable conflicts or challenges. High levels of trust, facilitated by reciprocal altruism, enable open emotional sharing and vulnerability, key components of intimacy according to attachment theory. Individuals with secure attachment styles, for example, are more likely to develop and maintain high-trust friendships due to their positive expectations of others.

Authenticity and Vulnerability: Authenticity, the genuine expression of one’s true self, is central to fostering genuine connection. Presenting oneself without pretense or facades, as suggested by self-verification theory, allows for the development of deeper intimacy. Embracing vulnerability, a key tenet of vulnerability theory, encourages reciprocal honesty and strengthens the bond. This process involves managing the inherent tension within relational dialectics—specifically, the openness-closedness dialectic. While vulnerability requires openness, respecting boundaries necessitates maintaining a degree of closedness. Navigating this tension is crucial for maintaining a healthy balance in the friendship.

Active Listening and Empathetic Understanding: Active listening, moving beyond mere hearing to encompass understanding the emotions underlying verbal and nonverbal communication, is crucial. Empathy, the ability to vicariously experience the emotions of another, contributes to a supportive atmosphere. This resonates with the principles of person-centered therapy, emphasizing unconditional positive regard and empathetic understanding as crucial for fostering personal growth within a relationship. Such attentive listening validates the friend’s feelings, strengthens emotional connection, and promotes a sense of being heard and understood.

Boundary Setting and Respect: Respecting individual boundaries is paramount. Each person possesses unique limits, and recognizing these limits is critical. This aligns with the concept of autonomy in relational contexts. Avoiding intrusion into personal matters and refraining from pressuring someone to share more than they are comfortable with demonstrates respect and reinforces trust, valuing the friend’s autonomy and personal space.

Honest Communication and Conflict Resolution: Honesty, even when challenging, builds a strong foundation of trust. Truthful communication, even when potentially causing discomfort, facilitates relationship growth. Transparency, while sometimes uncomfortable, ultimately strengthens the relationship by building mutual respect and understanding. Addressing inevitable conflicts constructively, focusing on understanding perspectives rather than assigning blame, facilitates resolution and strengthens the bond. Effective communication strategies, like those highlighted in conflict resolution models, are crucial for managing disagreements and preventing escalation.

Celebrating Differences and Shared Experiences: Embracing diverse perspectives enriches friendships, promoting learning and mutual growth. Respecting and celebrating individuality fosters a vibrant and dynamic friendship. Sharing in successes and celebrating achievements reinforces the bond, creating positive memories and fostering a sense of shared experience.

Consistent Effort and Commitment: Nurturing emotional safety is an ongoing process that requires consistent effort and dedication from both individuals. This commitment signifies the value placed on the friendship, highlighting its importance and willingness to nurture its growth. Reliability, consistent presence and support, provides emotional security, demonstrating unwavering support and commitment.

Forgiveness and Reconciliation: Mistakes are inevitable. Forgiveness bridges divides, rebuilding trust and allowing the friendship to move forward. A willingness to forgive demonstrates understanding and strengthens the commitment to the relationship, allowing for growth and healing after disagreements or misunderstandings.

Conclusions and Recommendations: Developing emotionally safe friendships requires a multifaceted approach encompassing trust, authenticity, active listening, respect for boundaries, honest communication, and a commitment to continuous effort. By applying principles from social exchange theory, attachment theory, relational dialectics, and conflict resolution models, individuals can cultivate strong, enduring bonds. Future research could explore the impact of different cultural backgrounds on the development and maintenance of emotionally safe friendships, and further investigate the long-term benefits of prioritizing emotional safety in close relationships. The practical implications of this research extend beyond individual friendships, impacting the broader social fabric by promoting healthier, more supportive interpersonal relationships.

Reader Pool: How might the principles of emotional safety, as discussed in this article, be effectively integrated into interventions designed to improve interpersonal relationships in diverse settings, such as workplaces or therapeutic contexts?

Harnessing Nature’s Power: Cultivating Emotional Well-being and Stronger Relationships

Emotional well-being is fundamental to a fulfilling life, significantly impacting our ability to form healthy relationships and experience the joy of love. My experience as an emotional well-being expert reveals the transformative potential of nature therapy in fostering emotional wellness, especially within the context of love and relationships. Let’s delve into the remarkable ways nature nurtures our emotional health.

Nature’s Stress-Reducing Sanctuary: Picture a peaceful stroll through a tranquil forest, a gentle breeze caressing your face, leaves whispering secrets. Nature’s innate ability to alleviate stress and soothe the mind is undeniable. This tranquil state promotes a more compassionate, clearer approach to our relationships and romantic lives. The calming effect of natural environments reduces cortisol levels – the hormone linked to stress – paving the way for better emotional regulation and healthier interactions.

The Therapeutic Embrace of Water: Whether it’s the serene calm of a lake, the vibrant energy of a rushing river, or the rhythmic lull of ocean waves, water possesses an unparalleled ability to soothe the soul. Research consistently shows that proximity to water reduces anxiety and promotes relaxation – invaluable assets when navigating the complexities of love and relationships. The mesmerizing movement of water provides a meditative quality, facilitating introspection and emotional processing.

Grounding in the Earth’s Embrace: Connecting with the earth offers a profound sense of grounding and stability. Walking barefoot on grass, feeling the earth beneath your feet, or simply sitting on the ground creates a connection that fosters balance and emotional equilibrium. This physical grounding translates to emotional stability, providing a solid foundation for navigating relationship dynamics.

Nature’s Emotional Palette: Consider the profound emotional impact of nature’s vibrant colors. The lush green of foliage, the serene blue of the sky, the energetic orange of a sunset – each hue evokes specific emotions, collectively contributing to our overall well-being. These visual stimuli act as subtle mood regulators, positively influencing our emotional landscape.

Awakening the Senses: Nature therapy is a multi-sensory experience, engaging all our senses and anchoring us in the present moment. The texture of tree bark, the fragrance of blooming flowers, the symphony of birdsong – these experiences enhance emotional awareness and deepen our connection with ourselves and others. This heightened sensory awareness allows for a deeper appreciation of the present moment and fosters more meaningful interactions.

Nature as a Reflective Mirror: Nature serves as a powerful metaphor for our emotional journeys. The cyclical nature of seasons mirrors the phases of relationships, reminding us that change is inherent and often essential for growth. Observing natural processes offers valuable insights into our emotional patterns and provides comfort during transitions.

Nature’s Wellspring of Inspiration: The beauty and tranquility of nature can unlock creative potential, inspiring us to express our emotions in profound and meaningful ways. Writing poetry, painting landscapes, or composing music – artistic expression provides a healthy outlet for processing emotions and strengthens our connection with loved ones.

Strengthening Bonds Through Shared Experiences: Participating in outdoor activities with a partner fosters deeper emotional intimacy. Hiking, picnicking, gardening – shared experiences in nature create lasting memories and cultivate a stronger sense of connection and understanding. These shared moments build resilience and create a shared history, strengthening the bond between partners.

Nature’s Wisdom: Nature’s inherent rhythms teach valuable lessons about love and relationships. Observing the growth, adaptation, and resilience of plants instills patience, perseverance, and the importance of nurturing in our romantic lives. These lessons provide a framework for navigating challenges with grace and understanding.

Finding Solace in Nature’s Embrace: We all need moments of respite and healing. Nature provides this sanctuary, a space for reflection, rejuvenation, and emotional restoration. Whether it’s a quiet walk in the woods or sitting by a calm pond, nature’s tranquility offers solace and peace.

Mindfulness in Nature’s Embrace: Immersion in nature fosters mindfulness, allowing us to fully engage in the present moment. This mindful awareness helps release past hurts, alleviate future anxieties, and truly connect with our loved ones on a deeper level. This present-moment focus reduces rumination and fosters emotional clarity.

The Emotional Connection with Animals: Animals possess an innate ability to sense and respond to our emotions, offering unconditional love and companionship. Interacting with animals, whether it’s cuddling a pet or observing wildlife, brings immense joy and emotional well-being.

The Practice of Forest Bathing (Shinrin-yoku): This Japanese practice involves immersing oneself in the forest atmosphere, meditating amidst nature’s embrace. Forest bathing has been shown to reduce stress, boost immunity, and improve overall well-being – all crucial for maintaining healthy relationships.

Nature’s Reset Button: When relationships feel overwhelming or stagnant, nature offers a chance to reset. Stepping away from daily stresses and reconnecting with nature’s simplicity allows for clarity and a fresh perspective on relationship dynamics.

An Invitation to Embrace Nature’s Healing Power: I encourage you to explore the wonders of nature therapy and cultivate a deeper connection with the natural world to enhance your emotional well-being in love and relationships. Whether it’s a mountain hike, a beach stroll, or simply stargazing, let nature be your guide towards self-discovery and stronger connections with those you love. Share your experiences with nature therapy and how it’s impacted your emotional well-being. Let’s embark on this journey together!

Cultivating Relational Harmony: A Framework for Effective Conflict Management

The foundation of robust and enduring relationships rests upon the twin pillars of emotional intelligence and proficient communication. While interpersonal disagreements are inevitable, the adept management of emotions during conflict is pivotal in fostering a flourishing partnership. This article presents fifteen evidence-based strategies to guide couples in navigating challenging dialogues, thereby promoting mutual understanding and strengthening relational bonds. We will explore these strategies through the lens of communication theories, focusing on the application of these principles in real-life relational contexts.

The objective of conflict resolution is not to achieve victory but to collaboratively identify and implement mutually acceptable solutions. By prioritizing emotional well-being and applying the techniques outlined below, couples can transform potentially destructive interactions into opportunities for growth and enhanced intimacy. This approach aligns with the principles of restorative justice, focusing on repairing harm and rebuilding relationships rather than retribution.

1. Strategic Emotional Regulation: Before responding to conflict, employ techniques such as diaphragmatic breathing and cognitive reappraisal (Gross, 1998). A pause for mindful self-regulation prevents impulsive reactions that often escalate tension. This approach leverages the principles of emotional intelligence, emphasizing self-awareness and self-management as foundational elements for effective communication.

2. Active Listening and Empathetic Understanding: Engage in active listening, fully attending to your partner’s perspective without interruption. This involves mirroring and paraphrasing to ensure comprehension (Rogers, 1951). Demonstrating empathy by validating feelings, even if disagreeing with the content, fosters a safe space for open communication. This exemplifies the principles of person-centered therapy, prioritizing the individual’s subjective experience.

3. Assertive Communication through “I” Statements: Frame expressions of needs and feelings using “I” statements to minimize defensiveness and promote dialogue. For instance, instead of “You always criticize me,” try “I feel hurt and undervalued when I perceive criticism.” This approach aligns with the principles of assertive communication, emphasizing the expression of personal needs without aggression or passivity.

4. Behavioral Focus, Not Personality Attacks: Address specific behaviors rather than making broad, character-based judgments. The goal is to resolve the immediate issue, not to disparage your partner’s inherent traits. This strategy applies the principles of solution-focused brief therapy, directing attention toward achievable goals and avoiding unproductive dwelling on past behaviors.

5. Positive Reinforcement and Validation: Employ affirming language such as “I appreciate your willingness to discuss this” or “I value your perspective, even if we disagree.” Positive reinforcement fosters cooperation and mutual respect, aligning with principles of operant conditioning (Skinner, 1953).

6. Perspective-Taking and Cognitive Empathy: Actively attempt to understand the situation from your partner’s point of view. Employing cognitive empathy (Davis, 1983) – understanding the other’s thoughts and feelings – creates a foundation for collaborative problem-solving.

7. Strategic Time-Outs for Emotional Regulation: If the interaction becomes overwhelming, agree upon taking a break. Temporary separation allows for emotional regulation and prevents escalation. This recognizes the limitations of emotional resources and the importance of self-care in conflict resolution.

8. Maintaining Present Focus: Concentrate on the immediate issue, avoiding the introduction of past grievances. Past conflicts are best addressed in separate conversations to avoid derailing the current discussion. This adheres to the principles of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), which emphasizes present-focused problem-solving.

9. Judicious Use of Humor: Humor can defuse tension, but avoid sarcasm or jokes that undermine or diminish your partner’s feelings. Appropriate humor can create a more receptive environment for productive dialogue.

10. Prioritizing Self-Care and Well-being: Manage stress levels through self-care practices (e.g., exercise, mindfulness). A calm and centered individual is better equipped to navigate challenging conversations. This reflects the importance of self-compassion and self-regulation in effective communication.

11. Seeking Professional Guidance: If conflicts persist or severely impair well-being, seek professional help. A therapist can provide specialized tools and techniques for conflict resolution and relationship enhancement. This acknowledges the limitations of self-help and the benefits of professional expertise.

12. Utilizing Nonverbal Communication Effectively: Nonverbal cues such as nodding, maintaining eye contact, and using congruent facial expressions demonstrate engagement and active listening. These cues enhance connection and mutual understanding.

13. Minimizing Environmental Distractions: Dedicate undivided attention to your partner. Eliminating distractions (e.g., phones) demonstrates respect and reinforces commitment to the conversation.

14. Expressing Gratitude and Appreciation: Acknowledge your partner’s efforts to engage in difficult discussions. Expressing gratitude fosters a positive and collaborative atmosphere.

15. Reflective Practice and Continuous Learning: View conflicts as learning opportunities. Reflect on the interaction and identify areas for improvement in future communications. This fosters personal growth and enhances relational effectiveness.

Consistent application of these techniques significantly improves the capacity for emotional regulation during conflict, fostering stronger, more fulfilling relationships. Mastering effective conflict navigation is an ongoing process that requires continuous effort and mutual commitment. By embracing this process and focusing on shared understanding, couples can transform challenges into opportunities for growth and deeper connection. This holistic approach emphasizes the dynamic nature of relationships and the importance of ongoing learning and adaptation.

Conclusions and Recommendations

This analysis highlights the critical role of emotional intelligence and communication skills in navigating relational conflicts. The fifteen strategies presented, grounded in established communication and psychological theories, provide a comprehensive framework for fostering healthy conflict resolution. The successful implementation of these strategies hinges on a collaborative approach, mutual commitment, and a willingness to engage in ongoing self-reflection and learning. Further research could explore the efficacy of these strategies across diverse relational contexts and cultural backgrounds, as well as investigate the long-term impacts of these techniques on relational satisfaction and well-being. The widespread adoption of these strategies could contribute significantly to improved relational health and reduce the prevalence of relationship-related distress.

Reader Pool: What are your perspectives on the relative importance of individual versus systemic factors in contributing to successful conflict resolution in intimate relationships?