1000+ Best Jokes That You Will Find Absolutely Hilarious, By Melkisedeck Leon Shine

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A: A stick! 🌳🚫🔄

Explanation:
You see, a boomerang is known for its unique ability to return to the person who threw it. But if it doesn’t come back, well, it’s just a plain old stick! No fancy aerodynamics or magical powers. Just a simple stick that you can use for other things, like playing fetch with a dog or pretending to be a wizard with a wand. So, next time you encounter a boomerang that refuses to come back, just remember, it’s just a stick keeping its distance from the boomerang club! 😄🪓🌪️

What bird loves construction work?

The "Tweet-er"!

🐦🚧

Explanation:
The bird that loves construction work is called the "Tweet-er" because it loves to sing while building nests! Just like how we tweet on social media, this bird tweets while working with construction tools. It’s a chirpy little builder who gets the job done with a happy melody. 🎶🏗️

How do you catch a polar bear?

Short Answer: You go to the Arctic and pretend to be an ice cream truck! 🍦🐻

Explanation: To catch a polar bear, you need to use your wit and a little bit of trickery. By pretending to be an ice cream truck in the Arctic, you can entice the polar bear with the delicious treats, making it come to you willingly. Just make sure you have plenty of ice cream to share because polar bears have quite an appetite! 🤣

What would you get if you crossed a teacher with a vampire?

Answer: 🧛‍♂️🍎 A Counting Dracula!

Explanation: If you were to cross a teacher with a vampire, you would get none other than a "Counting Dracula"! This hilarious play on words combines the classic vampire with the job of a teacher, emphasizing their love for counting and grading papers. So, watch out for this fang-tastic educator who might just sink their teeth into some math equations! 😉🧛‍♂️🎃

Where can you always find a peacock?

Short Answer: In a feather-brained fashion show! 🦚

Explanation: The humorous answer suggests that you can always find a peacock in a fashion show because peacocks are known for their vibrant and showy feathers. The use of the term "feather-brained" adds a playful touch, implying that the peacock’s focus is solely on displaying its beautiful plumage. The emoji 🦚 further emphasizes the presence of the peacock, adding a quirky element to the answer.

Why did the skeleton cross the road?

Short Answer: Because it had a bone to pick with the chicken! 🐔💀

Explanation: This answer plays on the pun of "bone to pick," suggesting that the skeleton was crossing the road to have a disagreement or settle an issue with the chicken. It adds a humorous twist to the classic joke, creating a playful and amusing atmosphere. The emoji of a chicken and a skull further enhances the lighthearted tone.

What did the monster ask his sweetheart?

Q: What did the monster ask his sweetheart?

A: "Will you be my boo-tiful forever?" 👻💕

Explanation: This playful question combines the monster’s spooky nature with his affectionate feelings for his sweetheart. The wordplay on "boo-tiful" adds a humorous touch, as monsters often use the term "boo" to scare people. By asking this question, the monster is humorously showing his love and hoping for a forever-lasting relationship with his sweetheart. The ghost emoji 👻 further emphasizes the monster’s charm and adds a delightful twist to the riddle.

Why do bananas have to put sunscreen on before they go to the beach?

Short Answer: Because they don’t want to peel!

Explanation: 🍌 Bananas have to put sunscreen on before going to the beach because they want to avoid peeling, just like how we humans use sunscreen to prevent our skin from getting burnt and peeling. After all, nobody wants to see a bunch of sunburnt bananas with peeling skin at the beach! 😄🏖️

What’s the smartest insect around?

The smartest insect around is the 🐜 Smarty Pants! 🎩🤓

Explanation:
The answer to this question is a play on words, using the term "smarty pants" which is often used to describe someone who is extremely intelligent or clever. By attributing this to a tiny ant, it creates a funny image of an insect wearing a pair of pants and being exceptionally smart. The use of emojis adds to the light-hearted and cheerful tone of the response.

How long should an elephant’s legs be?

An elephant’s legs should be long enough to reach the ground! 🐘🦵

Explanation: This answer is meant to be funny because it’s a playful way of stating the obvious. Elephants have long legs that can easily touch the ground, so there’s no need to worry about their leg length. The emoji adds a cheerful touch to the response, creating a lighthearted and amusing atmosphere.

What type of dog loves going to the groomer?

Short answer: A Shampoodle! 🐩💇‍♀️

Explanation: A Shampoodle is a play on words between "shampoo" and "poodle." Poodles are known for their fancy hairstyles and their love for grooming. So, it’s no surprise that a Shampoodle, a fictional dog breed, would absolutely adore going to the groomer! 🚿💖

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and worries?

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and worries? A nervous wreck! 🙈

Explanation:
This answer plays with the phrase "nervous wreck," which typically means someone who is extremely anxious or worried. By adding a touch of wordplay, we imagine a literal shipwreck at the bottom of the ocean that is feeling nervous. Using the emoji 🙈 adds a fun and lighthearted touch, as if the nervous wreck is hiding from its worries. Overall, the answer combines humor, imagination, and a pun to create a cheerful and creative response.

Who is wrong here? Story of men and dog

Q: Who is wrong here? Story of men and dog.
A: The dog, paws down! 🐾

Explanation: In this hilarious tale, the men and the dog find themselves in a comical predicament. As the story goes, the men are happily enjoying a walk when suddenly the dog starts barking at a nearby tree. The men, puzzled, try to understand why the dog is so fixated on the tree. They inspect it from top to bottom and conclude that there is nothing to bark at. The dog, however, insists that there must be something up there! 🌳

Despite the men’s best efforts to convince the dog otherwise, it stubbornly continues to bark at the tree. Meanwhile, the dog’s tail is wagging energetically, as if it’s convinced it has found the greatest discovery of all time! 🐶 The men, perplexed and slightly embarrassed, finally give in and accept that the dog’s instincts are far superior to their own. They bow down to the dog’s superior wisdom and admit defeat. 🙇‍♂️

So, who is wrong here? Well, it’s clear that the dog has a secret pact with the tree! Maybe it’s a secret hiding spot for doggy treats or a portal to a magical doggy kingdom. We may never know! But hey, when it comes to the dog’s instincts, it’s best not to argue and just accept that our furry friends have a sixth sense we can never comprehend. 🐾😄

Why are elephants such bad dancers?

Short Answer: 🐘 Because they have two left feet! 🕺🏻💃🏻

Explanation: Elephants are known for their large and sturdy bodies, which can make it challenging for them to move gracefully. The saying "having two left feet" is a humorous way to describe someone who is clumsy or lacks coordination. In this case, we playfully suggest that elephants have two left feet, implying that their dancing skills might not be the best. The use of the 🐘 emoji adds a touch of playfulness to the answer.

Why was the math book always worried?

Short Answer: Because it had too many problems! 📚🤔💭📝😅

Explanation: The math book was always worried because it was filled with numerous problem-solving exercises. It knew that students would try to solve its problems, and that could be quite challenging for them. Just like we often worry when we have too many problems in life, the math book felt the same way! But don’t worry, with a little bit of practice and determination, those math problems can be solved and the book can finally relax. 😉

What did the apple tree say to the farmer?

Short Answer: "Leaf me alone, I’m just trying to have a fruitful day! 🍎😄"

Explanation: The apple tree, being a tree with a sense of humor, playfully asks the farmer to leave it alone, as it wants to enjoy a day filled with producing delicious fruits. The use of the pun "leaf me alone" adds a comedic twist, as it sounds similar to the phrase "leave me alone." The emoji of an apple and a laughing face further emphasizes the lighthearted and cheerful tone.

Why didn’t the oven go to college?

Short answer:
Because it didn’t want to be baked into a "smart cookie"! 🍪😉

Explanation:
This answer plays on the pun of the oven not wanting to become a "smart cookie" by going to college. It suggests that the oven is already "smart" in terms of its functionality, so it doesn’t need to pursue higher education. The use of the cookie emoji adds a playful touch to the answer.

What has 18 legs and catches flies?

Short Answer: A soccer team of spiders! 🕷️⚽️

Explanation: The riddle asks what has 18 legs and catches flies, so the humorous answer suggests a soccer team made up of spiders. Spiders are known for having eight legs each, so if we imagine a whole team of them playing soccer, they would have a combined total of 18 legs. And since spiders are great at catching flies, it adds a playful twist to the riddle. The emoji of a spider and a soccer ball further enhances the humor and adds a cheerful touch to the response.

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