What would you get if you crossed a teacher with a vampire?

Binti (Guest) on November 18, 2018

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back! 😴💔

Majid (Guest) on November 8, 2018

Running late is my cardio. 🕒🏃‍♀️

Mwanahawa (Guest) on October 29, 2018

Why don’t we ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'? 🎱💰

Ann Wambui (Guest) on October 22, 2018

I’m still cracking up, that was brilliant! 🤣

Faiza (Guest) on October 21, 2018

I'd exercise, but it makes me spill my coffee. ☕🏃‍♂️

Joseph Kiwanga (Guest) on October 20, 2018

🤣 Sharing this right now!

Joseph Mallya (Guest) on October 14, 2018

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge? 🥪💡

Chiku (Guest) on October 9, 2018

I’ve started using my kids as weights. That counts as working out, right? 🏋️‍♂️👶

Frank Macha (Guest) on October 6, 2018

My hobbies include eating and complaining that I’m gaining weight. 🍕📏

Nancy Kawawa (Guest) on October 3, 2018

How do construction workers party? They raise the roof! 👷‍♂️🏗️

Abdillah (Guest) on September 28, 2018

I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug. 💑🤣

Mazrui (Guest) on September 14, 2018

I’m not weird, I’m limited edition. 🦄😜

Elijah Mutua (Guest) on September 7, 2018

😂 Can’t wait to share this!

Wande (Guest) on September 4, 2018

Some people wake up looking fabulous. I wake up looking for my phone. 📱😴

Joyce Aoko (Guest) on September 1, 2018

I don’t trip, I do random gravity checks. 🌍🤣

Anna Mchome (Guest) on August 29, 2018

I’m not procrastinating, I’m just on a procrastination break. ⏳🙃

Henry Sokoine (Guest) on August 24, 2018

Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said. 😜💬

Agnes Lowassa (Guest) on August 20, 2018

If Monday had a face, I’d punch it. 🥊📆

Peter Mbise (Guest) on August 10, 2018

If Monday had a face, I’d punch it. 🥊📅

Mwachumu (Guest) on August 6, 2018

Why don’t mountains get cold in the winter? They wear snowcaps! 🏔️❄️

Edith Cherotich (Guest) on August 2, 2018

Brilliant! The timing was perfect! ⏰

Paul Ndomba (Guest) on August 2, 2018

Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside, too. 💄😜

Joseph Kitine (Guest) on July 29, 2018

How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it! 💧🔥

Joseph Kiwanga (Guest) on July 15, 2018

When nothing goes right, go left. ⬅️🧭

Ahmed (Guest) on July 14, 2018

I wish I were a little kid so I could take a long nap and everyone would be proud of me. 🍼😴

Ndoto (Guest) on July 11, 2018

Life status: Currently holding it all together with one bobby pin. 💇‍♀️😆

Sekela (Guest) on July 8, 2018

Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! 🦴😂

Margaret Anyango (Guest) on June 30, 2018

I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already. 🥃😂

Francis Mtangi (Guest) on June 29, 2018

Why did the smartphone need glasses? It lost all its contacts! 📱👓

Alice Wanjiru (Guest) on June 29, 2018

What kind of car does an egg drive? A yolkswagen! 🚗🥚

Stephen Kikwete (Guest) on June 26, 2018

Absolutely nailed it, what a joke! 😄

Hassan (Guest) on June 12, 2018

I would lose weight, but I hate losing. 😂🏆

Ruth Wanjiku (Guest) on June 11, 2018

What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad sandals! 🐸👡

Zuhura (Guest) on May 29, 2018

Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish! 🦪💰

Charles Mchome (Guest) on May 28, 2018

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not too sure. 🤷‍♀️

Grace Mushi (Guest) on May 26, 2018

How do you stop a bull from charging? Cancel its credit card! 🐃💳

Irene Akoth (Guest) on May 13, 2018

I told myself I should stop drinking, but I'm not about to listen to a drunk who talks to himself. 🍻🗣️

Sarah Karani (Guest) on May 13, 2018

This is pure comedy gold! 😄

Anna Malela (Guest) on May 11, 2018

I’ve tried yoga, but I find stress less boring. 🧘‍♂️😆

Fikiri (Guest) on April 27, 2018

If lying was a job, I'd be on a Forbes list by now. 😇📝

Jamal (Guest) on April 21, 2018

😂 I can't stop laughing at this one!

Nancy Kawawa (Guest) on April 5, 2018

Wow, these jokes are pure gold! 💰

Jafari (Guest) on March 26, 2018

Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is? 🍫❓

Nasra (Guest) on March 10, 2018

Why did the man put his money in the freezer? He wanted cold hard cash! 💵❄️

Jackson Makori (Guest) on March 10, 2018

Why did the phone break up with the charger? It couldn’t handle the power struggle! 📱🔋

Mazrui (Guest) on March 4, 2018

Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish! 🦪😜

Mwagonda (Guest) on February 28, 2018

I have too many apps on my phone, but there’s no app to keep track of them. 📱😆

Sarafina (Guest) on February 27, 2018

Hilarious! This one’s going into my favorites! 😄

Elizabeth Mtei (Guest) on February 20, 2018

I'm not lazy, I'm on energy-saving mode. ⚡😴

Nasra (Guest) on February 14, 2018

Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. 😴

Muslima (Guest) on January 29, 2018

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure. 🤷‍♂️🤔

Nashon (Guest) on January 21, 2018

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day. 😴🙃

James Mduma (Guest) on January 21, 2018

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. 🌞🌙

Rehema (Guest) on January 13, 2018

I’m not shy. I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you. 🦸‍♂️😎

Nancy Komba (Guest) on January 2, 2018

Why do ducks always pay with cash? Because they don’t like bills! 🦆💵

Issack (Guest) on December 13, 2017

You can't make everyone happy. You are not a taco. 🌮🤷‍♂️

Margaret Anyango (Guest) on December 11, 2017

I hate when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong. 🎤🤷‍♀️

Mgeni (Guest) on December 6, 2017

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a salad, asking it to be a donut. 🥗🍩

James Malima (Guest) on December 4, 2017

😆 I’m still laughing, can’t stop!

Rose Amukowa (Guest) on December 2, 2017

I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking of making a few more. 🙈😜