Short answer: He got twelve months!
Explanation: Well, you see, when the man stole the calendar from the store, he thought he was just getting a free calendar. Little did he know, calendars have a way of keeping track of time. So, instead of escaping with his loot, he ended up with twelve whole months of his life! Talk about a hilarious twist of fate! ๐คฃ๐
Issa (Guest) on December 8, 2016
I used to have superpowers, but my therapist took them away. ๐ฆธโโ๏ธ๐
Victor Mwalimu (Guest) on November 28, 2016
Donโt give up on your dreams, keep sleeping! ๐ด๐ค
Susan Wangari (Guest) on November 26, 2016
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. ๐ฒ๐
Rose Mwinuka (Guest) on November 20, 2016
Iโm not bossy, Iโm the boss. Big difference. ๐๐ฉโ๐ผ
Stephen Malecela (Guest) on November 12, 2016
๐คฃ Pure genius!
Dorothy Mwakalindile (Guest) on November 5, 2016
๐ Best laugh of the day!
Safiya (Guest) on November 4, 2016
Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus! ๐ฅ๏ธ๐ค
Shukuru (Guest) on October 31, 2016
I am not lazy, I am on power-saving mode. โก๐
George Wanjala (Guest) on October 30, 2016
Iโve tried yoga, but I find stress less boring. ๐งโโ๏ธ๐
Kijakazi (Guest) on October 29, 2016
I donโt procrastinate; I reschedule. ๐๏ธ๐
Nassar (Guest) on October 24, 2016
You canโt make everyone happy. Youโre not pizza. ๐๐คทโโ๏ธ
Sarah Achieng (Guest) on October 12, 2016
๐ This made my day!
Ann Awino (Guest) on October 7, 2016
What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me! ๐ฝ๏ธ๐ฝ๏ธ
Janet Sumaye (Guest) on September 30, 2016
๐ This is a keeper!
Grace Wairimu (Guest) on September 29, 2016
Why did the golfer bring a spare pencil? In case he got a hole in one! โณโ๏ธ
Edith Cherotich (Guest) on September 27, 2016
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring, so I go back to being me. ๐ญ๐ฆธโโ๏ธ
Rabia (Guest) on September 27, 2016
๐ Iโm dying!
Zuhura (Guest) on September 21, 2016
I donโt need a mood ring; I have a face. ๐๐ฌ
Mariam Hassan (Guest) on September 19, 2016
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So, I go back to being me. ๐ฆธโโ๏ธ๐ช
Lucy Mahiga (Guest) on September 8, 2016
Why do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales! ๐โ๏ธ
Salma (Guest) on September 7, 2016
What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie! ๐ฅ๐ก
Arifa (Guest) on August 12, 2016
If Monday had a face, Iโd punch it. ๐ฅ๐
Khamis (Guest) on August 8, 2016
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots! ๐ป๐บ
Lucy Kimotho (Guest) on August 8, 2016
What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad! ๐ธ๐
Henry Sokoine (Guest) on August 4, 2016
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee? Bah-humbug! ๐๐
Shani (Guest) on July 28, 2016
๐คฃ This joke is too good!
Tambwe (Guest) on July 28, 2016
Iโm on a 24-hour coffee break. โโณ
Andrew Odhiambo (Guest) on July 19, 2016
๐ Iโm still laughing, canโt stop!
Janet Mwikali (Guest) on July 18, 2016
My hobbies include eating and complaining that Iโm gaining weight. ๐๐
Yahya (Guest) on June 22, 2016
How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concernโฆ ๐งโโ๏ธโ๏ธ
Alex Nyamweya (Guest) on June 22, 2016
Iโd agree with you but then weโd both be wrong. ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐
George Tenga (Guest) on June 17, 2016
Coffee: because adulting is hard. ๐ฉโ
Alice Mrema (Guest) on June 17, 2016
I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up: a kid again. ๐ถ๐คฃ
Sultan (Guest) on June 12, 2016
I donโt need an inspirational quote, I need coffee. โ๐
Rabia (Guest) on June 9, 2016
๐ Canโt wait to share this!
Kassim (Guest) on June 6, 2016
Itโs not that Iโm lazy, Iโm just highly motivated to do nothing. ๐๏ธ๐
Jacob Kiplangat (Guest) on June 5, 2016
Why are ghosts such bad liars? You can see right through them! ๐ป๐
Shabani (Guest) on May 29, 2016
Classic! Iโm still laughing! ๐
Lucy Mushi (Guest) on May 29, 2016
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, theyโd be bagels! ๐ฅฏ๐
Makame (Guest) on May 29, 2016
Whatโs a snakeโs favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory! ๐๐
Frank Macha (Guest) on May 24, 2016
I need a six-month vacation, twice a year. ๐๏ธ๐
Mwinyi (Guest) on May 23, 2016
Dieting is wishful shrinking. ๐ฉ๐
Stephen Malecela (Guest) on May 21, 2016
The best part of going to work is coming back home. ๐ก๐ผ
Shamsa (Guest) on May 18, 2016
The bags under my eyes are Chanel. ๐๐
Patrick Kidata (Guest) on May 13, 2016
Why did the smartphone need glasses? It lost all its contacts! ๐ฑ๐
Majid (Guest) on April 29, 2016
๐คฃ That twist at the end, though!
Edward Lowassa (Guest) on April 20, 2016
Who needs a superhero when you have a mom? ๐ฆธโโ๏ธโค๏ธ
David Kawawa (Guest) on April 17, 2016
Why did the music teacher go to jail? She got caught with too many notes! ๐ผ๐ฎโโ๏ธ
Josephine Nduta (Guest) on April 13, 2016
Haha, this joke is a keeper! ๐
Anna Mahiga (Guest) on March 29, 2016
Why donโt oysters donate to charity? Because theyโre shellfish! ๐ฆช๐ฐ
Jackson Makori (Guest) on March 26, 2016
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! ๐ ๐
Francis Mtangi (Guest) on March 15, 2016
Sometimes I talk to myself. Then we both laugh. ๐๐ฅ
Abdillah (Guest) on March 11, 2016
I put the 'pro' in procrastination. ๐๐ด
Peter Tibaijuka (Guest) on March 5, 2016
I donโt need an inspirational quote. I need coffee. โ๐
Nicholas Wanjohi (Guest) on March 2, 2016
Whatโs Beethovenโs favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-na! ๐น๐
Susan Wangari (Guest) on February 24, 2016
If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much. ๐ณ๏ธ๐ฆ
Ann Awino (Guest) on February 24, 2016
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside. ๐ฅถ๐ฐ
Jane Malecela (Guest) on February 22, 2016
Why donโt ants get sick? They have tiny ant-bodies! ๐๐
Joyce Aoko (Guest) on February 20, 2016
Iโm definitely telling this one to my friends! ๐
Husna (Guest) on February 10, 2016
Iโm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed. ๐ด๐