Short answer: He got twelve months!
Explanation: Well, you see, when the man stole the calendar from the store, he thought he was just getting a free calendar. Little did he know, calendars have a way of keeping track of time. So, instead of escaping with his loot, he ended up with twelve whole months of his life! Talk about a hilarious twist of fate! π€£π
Frank Macha (Guest) on January 30, 2016
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs! ππ
Janet Mbithe (Guest) on January 30, 2016
Donβt you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do. π€π¬
Biashara (Guest) on January 23, 2016
When I said Iβd do it later, I didnβt mean tomorrow. I meant next year. π π
Makame (Guest) on January 15, 2016
Whatβs a vampireβs favorite fruit? A blood orange! π§ββοΈπ
Zakia (Guest) on January 15, 2016
What do you call a bear thatβs stuck in the rain? A drizzly bear! π»π§οΈ
Diana Mumbua (Guest) on January 12, 2016
I donβt have a bucket list, but my fucket list is a mile long. π€·ββοΈπ
Monica Nyalandu (Guest) on January 10, 2016
Iβve had my patience tested. Iβm negative. πβ³
Agnes Sumaye (Guest) on December 17, 2015
This joke just made my dayβhilarious! π€£
Robert Okello (Guest) on December 17, 2015
Why donβt melons get married? Because they cantaloupe! ππ
Joseph Kawawa (Guest) on December 14, 2015
π€£ This joke just made my whole day!
John Mwangi (Guest) on December 2, 2015
Sometimes I drink waterβjust to surprise my liver. π₯€π
Charles Wafula (Guest) on November 30, 2015
How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together! π§π
Joseph Mallya (Guest) on November 24, 2015
Why are spiders great at websites? Because theyβre always catching bugs! π·οΈπ»
Nancy Kawawa (Guest) on November 21, 2015
How do cows stay up to date? They read the moos-paper! ππ°
Hashim (Guest) on November 21, 2015
Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up! ππ€£
Hawa (Guest) on November 20, 2015
What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador! πβ¨
Ruth Wanjiku (Guest) on November 11, 2015
π Iβm bookmarking this for later!
Hashim (Guest) on October 29, 2015
If stress burned calories, Iβd be a supermodel. π₯π
Joseph Mallya (Guest) on October 25, 2015
How do you organize a space party? You planet! ππ
Benjamin Masanja (Guest) on October 24, 2015
Whatβs black, white, and read all over? A newspaper! π°π€
Lucy Kimotho (Guest) on October 24, 2015
If Monday had a face, Iβd punch it. π₯π
Michael Onyango (Guest) on October 20, 2015
I'm not great at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? ππ€
Majid (Guest) on October 17, 2015
Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair. πͺβ
Maimuna (Guest) on October 12, 2015
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. ππ§Ή
Khamis (Guest) on October 8, 2015
Whatβs a ghostβs favorite dessert? Boo-berry pie! π»π₯§
Monica Lissu (Guest) on October 7, 2015
I donβt go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. π€―π€ͺ
Nora Lowassa (Guest) on October 7, 2015
Why did the frog sit on the computer? To hop on the internet! πΈπ»
Peter Mwambui (Guest) on October 5, 2015
I'm on the 'I-just-ate' diet. It's working perfectly. ππͺ
Faith Kariuki (Guest) on October 2, 2015
Why donβt sharks eat clowns? Because they taste funny! π¦π€‘
Agnes Njeri (Guest) on September 28, 2015
Sorry for the mean, awful, accurate things I said. ππ¬
Edward Chepkoech (Guest) on September 28, 2015
This joke was on point! Love it! π―
Joyce Aoko (Guest) on September 19, 2015
π That punchline was epic!
Mashaka (Guest) on September 14, 2015
This is the kind of joke you donβt forget! π
Peter Tibaijuka (Guest) on September 6, 2015
I would lose weight, but I hate losing. ππ
Agnes Njeri (Guest) on August 30, 2015
π Too good!
Rose Amukowa (Guest) on August 29, 2015
Hilarious! This oneβs going into my favorites! π
Dorothy Mwakalindile (Guest) on August 28, 2015
π This is pure brilliance!
Athumani (Guest) on August 11, 2015
Chocolate is the answer. Who cares what the question is? π«β
Raha (Guest) on July 26, 2015
I need six months of vacation, twice a year. ποΈπ
Amir (Guest) on July 22, 2015
π That punchline!
Stephen Kikwete (Guest) on July 20, 2015
I hate when Iβm singing along to a song and the artist gets the words wrong. π€πΆ
Fredrick Mutiso (Guest) on July 16, 2015
What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved! ππ
Kahina (Guest) on July 3, 2015
Iβve found the recipe for happiness. Can someone just send me some money to buy the ingredients? πΈπ
Daudi (Guest) on June 23, 2015
Why donβt skeletons play music in church? Because they donβt have organs! βͺπΆ
Nasra (Guest) on June 19, 2015
π Iβm saving this one!
Abubakar (Guest) on June 16, 2015
I like long walks, especially when theyβre taken by people who annoy me. πΆββοΈπ
Lydia Mahiga (Guest) on June 13, 2015
π€£ Didnβt see that coming!
Anna Mchome (Guest) on May 23, 2015
Iβm writing a book. Iβve got the page numbers done. πβοΈ
Edward Chepkoech (Guest) on May 20, 2015
Iβm not late. Iβm just very early for tomorrow. β°π
Andrew Mchome (Guest) on May 17, 2015
What do you call a snowmanβs dog? A slush puppy! βπ
Janet Mwikali (Guest) on May 8, 2015
Why donβt skeletons go to parties? They have no body to dance with! π¦΄π
Kenneth Murithi (Guest) on May 5, 2015
What do you call a skeleton who won't work? Lazy bones! ππ΄
Moses Mwita (Guest) on May 4, 2015
What do you call a boomerang that doesnβt come back? A stick! πͺπΏ
Stephen Kangethe (Guest) on May 1, 2015
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it! π§π₯
Amani (Guest) on April 15, 2015
Iβm definitely sharing this with my friends! π
Agnes Njeri (Guest) on April 7, 2015
What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? Youβre too young to smoke! π π
Kahina (Guest) on March 30, 2015
Why donβt crabs give to charity? Because theyβre shellfish! π¦π°
Hellen Nduta (Guest) on March 24, 2015
How do you throw a space party? You planet! πͺπ
Sultan (Guest) on March 19, 2015
Why did the golfer bring extra socks? In case he got a hole in one! π§¦β³
Baraka (Guest) on March 7, 2015
I wish I were a little kid so I could take a long nap and everyone would be proud of me. πΌπ΄