What’s the difference between a shopping trolley and a University vice chancellor?
You fill them both up with as much food and alcohol you can, but it’s only the shopping trolley that has a mind of its own
Tag: Funny: Mix
Why did the dog keep tripping?
Why did the dog keep tripping?
Because she had two left feet.
What kind of murderer has fiber?
What kind of murderer has fiber?
A cereal killer.
What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
What lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes? Show Answer A nervous wreck
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
What gives you the power to walk through a wall?
Answer: A door.
Why do bananas have to put sunscreen on before they go to the beach?
Why do bananas have to put sunscreen on before they go to the beach?
Because they peel!
Why should you never iron a four leaf clover?
What’s ET short for?
Because he’s got little legs
Why did the book join the police force?
Why did the book join the police force?
He wanted to go undercover.
News about the ice-‐cream man
Did you hear about the ice-‐cream man, he was found dead in his ice-‐cream van, covered in chocolate sauce and hundreds-‐and-‐thousands? The police said that he had ?topped? himself.
Why couldn’t the boy go to the pirate movie?
Why couldn’t the boy go to the pirate movie?
Because it was rated “ARRR!
What did the farmer say to the horse when he walked in the barn?
What did the farmer say to the horse when he walked in the barn?
“Why the long face?
What do you call a teacher with no arms, no legs, and no body?
What do you call a teacher with no arms, no legs, and no body?
The Head…
What’s a cat’s favorite nursery rhyme?
What’s a cat’s favorite nursery rhyme?
Three Blind Mice.
What was born to succeed?
What was born to succeed?
A budgie with a blunt beak.
Who is wrong here? Story of men and dog
A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog. One man says to the other, “Does your dog bite”, the man replies “No my dog doesn’t” The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, “I thought you said your dog didn’t bite” said the injured man. “Thats not my dog”, replied the other.
What bird loves construction work?
What bird loves construction work? Show Answer Answer: A crane
What has 18 legs and catches flies?
What has 18 legs and catches flies?
A baseball team.
Which Budgie owns the cage?
Which Budgie owns the cage? Three budgies in a cage, one on the top perch, one on the middle and one on the bottom perch. Which Budgie owns the cage? Show Answer The one on the bottom perch, the other two are on higher perches.
