Short answer: He got twelve months!
Explanation: Well, you see, when the man stole the calendar from the store, he thought he was just getting a free calendar. Little did he know, calendars have a way of keeping track of time. So, instead of escaping with his loot, he ended up with twelve whole months of his life! Talk about a hilarious twist of fate! 🤣📆
Chris Okello (Guest) on January 17, 2019
What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘🥔
Tabu (Guest) on January 15, 2019
What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing! 🚦🚗
Raphael Okoth (Guest) on December 27, 2018
What kind of car does an egg drive? A yolkswagen! 🚗🥚
Faith Kariuki (Guest) on December 22, 2018
How do you know carrots are good for your eyes? Because you never see rabbits wearing glasses! 🥕🐰👓
Husna (Guest) on December 4, 2018
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once. ⏳😂
Mwanaidha (Guest) on November 18, 2018
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go! 🎈❄️
Issack (Guest) on November 15, 2018
🤣 This one’s fire!
Aziza (Guest) on November 14, 2018
There’s no 'we' in fries. 🍟🤨
Edith Cherotich (Guest) on November 3, 2018
My bank account is like a waterfall. Just constant flow... of money going away. 💸🏞️
Joyce Aoko (Guest) on October 25, 2018
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer! 🐂💤
Elizabeth Mrope (Guest) on October 22, 2018
How does a cucumber become a pickle? It goes through a jarring experience! 🥒🥒
Mwanaisha (Guest) on October 13, 2018
Thanks Ackyshine
Agnes Njeri (Guest) on October 4, 2018
They say 'don’t try this at home,' so I’m coming over to your house to try it. 🚶♂️🏡
Salma (Guest) on October 3, 2018
The road to success is always under construction. 🚧🏗️
Bernard Oduor (Guest) on September 30, 2018
If you want your spouse to listen and pay attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. 🛌💬
Mercy Atieno (Guest) on September 22, 2018
It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste. 😜😎
Miriam Mchome (Guest) on September 6, 2018
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. ⏳🏃♂️
Agnes Njeri (Guest) on September 4, 2018
To err is human, to blame it on someone else shows management potential. 💼🤣
Mary Kidata (Guest) on September 2, 2018
Monday should be optional. 😴⏳
Victor Kimario (Guest) on August 19, 2018
I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult. 🛌😬
David Kawawa (Guest) on August 19, 2018
I’m sorry, did I roll my eyes out loud? 🙄💬
Jamila (Guest) on August 14, 2018
What’s a frog’s favorite candy? Lollihops! 🐸🍭
Nuru (Guest) on August 14, 2018
Why are pirates great singers? Because they can hit the high Cs! 🏴☠️🎶
Elizabeth Mtei (Guest) on August 11, 2018
What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ⛄💪
Robert Okello (Guest) on August 10, 2018
😂 I’m definitely stealing this one!
Lucy Kimotho (Guest) on August 2, 2018
If we’re not supposed to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge? 🧀🌙
George Ndungu (Guest) on August 2, 2018
How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut! 🐿️🌰
Shabani (Guest) on July 24, 2018
What did one volcano say to the other? I lava you! 🌋❤️
John Malisa (Guest) on July 17, 2018
If Monday had a face, I’d punch it. 🥊📅
Robert Ndunguru (Guest) on July 17, 2018
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a kangaroo? A woolly jumper! 🐑🦘
Joyce Mussa (Guest) on July 6, 2018
What’s the tallest building in the world? The library, because it has the most stories! 📚🏢
Mwanahawa (Guest) on July 1, 2018
I don’t need to be perfect. I need to be caffeinated. ☕😆
Simon Kiprono (Guest) on June 28, 2018
Life is too short to remove USB safely. 🔌💻
Bahati (Guest) on June 8, 2018
Sorry, I can’t come to the phone right now. I’m busy being fabulous. 📞😎
Mary Mrope (Guest) on June 3, 2018
Life is too short to wear boring socks. 🧦🎉
Nancy Komba (Guest) on May 24, 2018
I run like the winded. 🏃♂️💨
Charles Mrope (Guest) on May 16, 2018
I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words. 👊💬
Fatuma (Guest) on May 10, 2018
Why did the watch break up with the clock? It found someone better for the time being! ⏰💔
Janet Mwikali (Guest) on May 3, 2018
Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity. 😜🛡️
Betty Akinyi (Guest) on April 25, 2018
I run like the winded. 🏃♀️😮💨
Mgeni (Guest) on April 21, 2018
I’d give up sarcasm, but that leaves me speechless. 😏🤐
Amina (Guest) on April 17, 2018
Sleep is my drug... my bed is my dealer, and my alarm clock is the police. 🛏️😴
Jafari (Guest) on April 11, 2018
This is pure comedy gold! 😄
Mustafa (Guest) on April 9, 2018
I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge. 💖🍕
Mzee (Guest) on April 5, 2018
Just what I needed today! Thank you! 😜
Mary Sokoine (Guest) on April 2, 2018
I’m not weird; I’m limited edition. 😜🦄
Mwanakhamis (Guest) on March 15, 2018
I love long walks, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me. 🚶♂️😜
Grace Njuguna (Guest) on March 10, 2018
My life feels like a test I didn’t study for. 📝🤯
Mary Mrope (Guest) on March 8, 2018
😂 I’m sending this to everyone I know!
Catherine Mkumbo (Guest) on February 1, 2018
Haha! I couldn't stop laughing at this one! 🤣
Nahida (Guest) on January 22, 2018
If you can’t handle me at my worst, just wait. It gets worse. 😂🤯
Dorothy Nkya (Guest) on January 11, 2018
I’ve reached the age where my brain goes from 'You probably shouldn’t say that' to 'What the heck, let’s see what happens'. 🤷♂️🤭
Abubakari (Guest) on January 10, 2018
Calories don’t count if you eat with friends. 🍰👯♂️
Jamila (Guest) on December 24, 2017
If lying was a job, I'd be on a Forbes list by now. 😇📝
Monica Adhiambo (Guest) on December 16, 2017
Why did the calendar go to therapy? It had too many dates! 📅🛋️
Betty Kimaro (Guest) on December 14, 2017
I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money. 💵🚶♂️
Grace Njuguna (Guest) on December 10, 2017
😂 Gotta save this!
Mashaka (Guest) on December 4, 2017
I could give up chocolate, but I’m not a quitter. 🍫💪
David Ochieng (Guest) on December 3, 2017
What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing but let out a little wine! 🍇🍷
George Wanjala (Guest) on December 2, 2017
What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator! 🐊🕵️♂️