Short answer: He got twelve months!
Explanation: Well, you see, when the man stole the calendar from the store, he thought he was just getting a free calendar. Little did he know, calendars have a way of keeping track of time. So, instead of escaping with his loot, he ended up with twelve whole months of his life! Talk about a hilarious twist of fate! 🤣📆
Lydia Mahiga (Guest) on November 29, 2023
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop. 💵🛍️
Rehema (Guest) on November 20, 2023
If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 🚗💵
Jaffar (Guest) on November 12, 2023
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. 🐟🍕
Mzee (Guest) on November 10, 2023
I feel like I should clean the house, so I’m going to lie down and nap until that feeling passes. 🧹🛌
Rehema (Guest) on November 5, 2023
Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go! 🎈❄️
Nancy Akumu (Guest) on November 4, 2023
Doing nothing is hard, you never know when you're done. 😴
Furaha (Guest) on October 29, 2023
I think my guardian angel drinks. 😇🍷
Mariam (Guest) on October 20, 2023
The only time success comes before work is in the dictionary. 📖💼
Nuru (Guest) on October 15, 2023
Why do we press harder on the remote when the batteries are dying? 📺🔋
Maimuna (Guest) on October 1, 2023
I wish everything was as easy as getting fat. 🍩😂
Kiza (Guest) on September 25, 2023
I don’t trip, I do random gravity checks. 🌍🤣
Omari (Guest) on September 24, 2023
😆 Laughing so hard right now!
Frank Macha (Guest) on September 23, 2023
Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity. 😏🛡️
Mwakisu (Guest) on September 20, 2023
Exercise? I thought you said 'extra fries'! 🍟😂
Yusra (Guest) on September 17, 2023
This one really got me, what a punchline! 😆
Mwanaisha (Guest) on September 15, 2023
I can’t cook, but I can follow directions—so if I fail, it’s the recipe’s fault. 🍳🤷♂️
Kenneth Murithi (Guest) on September 10, 2023
I thought growing old would take longer. 😄👵
Richard Mulwa (Guest) on September 10, 2023
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 worth of craft supplies? ✂️🧵
Paul Kamau (Guest) on August 22, 2023
Why don’t oysters share their pearls? Because they’re shellfish! 🦪😜
Chiku (Guest) on August 16, 2023
Is it just me or is 'running errands' starting to count as going out now? 🛒😂
Fatuma (Guest) on August 14, 2023
What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple! 🐱💜
Sarah Mbise (Guest) on August 11, 2023
Why did the picture go to jail? It was framed! 🖼️🚨
Alice Mwikali (Guest) on July 26, 2023
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest. 😅🏖️
Joyce Aoko (Guest) on July 20, 2023
What’s a cow’s favorite place to go? The moo-vies! 🐄🎥
Omari (Guest) on July 19, 2023
I’m not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. 🧩🤯
Andrew Odhiambo (Guest) on July 17, 2023
What do you call an owl that does magic? Hooo-dini! 🦉🎩
Jamila (Guest) on July 15, 2023
The older I get, the earlier it gets late. 🕰️😴
George Wanjala (Guest) on July 14, 2023
Some days I amaze myself. Other days, I put my keys in the fridge. 🔑🧊
Dorothy Nkya (Guest) on July 7, 2023
Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it! 🐘🌳
Alex Nyamweya (Guest) on July 3, 2023
I’m not really a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that? 😎🔧
Lydia Mahiga (Guest) on July 2, 2023
I’m on a seafood diet. I see food and eat it. 🦞🍕
Sofia (Guest) on June 21, 2023
What did one wall say to the other? Meet you at the corner! 🧱😎
Daudi (Guest) on June 21, 2023
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep. 😡🛌
Agnes Lowassa (Guest) on June 16, 2023
You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks what you do for fun. 🎮🤔
Fatuma (Guest) on June 8, 2023
I have too many apps on my phone, but there’s no app to keep track of them. 📱😆
Robert Ndunguru (Guest) on May 25, 2023
I’m still laughing, that was too good! 🤣
James Kawawa (Guest) on May 12, 2023
In my defense, I was left unsupervised. 🙆♂️😂
Rose Lowassa (Guest) on May 9, 2023
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about eating, I’d be rich... and probably still hungry. 🍕💵
Paul Kamau (Guest) on April 26, 2023
Absolutely nailed it, what a joke! 😄
Mwafirika (Guest) on April 24, 2023
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear? Sneakers! 🥷👟
Ruth Wanjiku (Guest) on April 23, 2023
I'm not lazy; I’m just highly motivated to do nothing. 🛋️😆
Binti (Guest) on April 21, 2023
I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking of making a few more. 🙈😜
George Wanjala (Guest) on April 16, 2023
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy. 🍷🙏
Majid (Guest) on April 11, 2023
I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me. 🚉🤔
Fredrick Mutiso (Guest) on April 1, 2023
Maybe you should eat some makeup so you can be pretty on the inside, too. 💄😜
Patrick Akech (Guest) on March 20, 2023
Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. 🧍♂️🤷♀️
Fredrick Mutiso (Guest) on March 17, 2023
I cleaned my house yesterday, which is odd because we still live in it today. 🏡🧼
Binti (Guest) on March 15, 2023
I’m on a roll today. I ate 12 rolls. 🍞😂
Elijah Mutua (Guest) on March 14, 2023
Coffee: because adulting is hard. ☕👨💼
Jacob Kiplangat (Guest) on March 12, 2023
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I’m gaining weight. 🍕📏
Shabani (Guest) on March 8, 2023
I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a nap. 🛌😴
Jackson Makori (Guest) on March 7, 2023
Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts! 🦴😂
Sumaya (Guest) on March 6, 2023
What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? Put it on my bill! 🦆💄
Nancy Kawawa (Guest) on February 26, 2023
What do you call a pile of cats? A meow-ntain! 🐱⛰️
Sharifa (Guest) on February 22, 2023
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener! 🥫🚫
Samson Mahiga (Guest) on February 17, 2023
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a beautiful day. ☁️😎
Raha (Guest) on February 14, 2023
Why are teddy bears never hungry? Because they’re always stuffed! 🧸🍽️
Michael Mboya (Guest) on February 13, 2023
How do bees get to school? By school buzz! 🐝🚌
Lucy Mushi (Guest) on February 10, 2023
Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself? It was two-tired! 🚲😅
Betty Cheruiyot (Guest) on February 10, 2023
😆 I’m dying over here!