Vihoja Vya Kujienjoy Leo

Kilichompata huyu jamaa akiwa anaangalia mpira mechi kali na mke wake

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WIFE: Baibie, yule ni nani? Ni Chris Brown??
HUSBAND: Yule ni Theo Walcott
WIFE: ile Yellow Card ni ya nini?

HUSBAND: ile ni ya Onyo, na Red Card inamaanisha mchezaji awache kucheza na atoke inje ya uwanja.
WIFE: Oooooh! Inakaa kama traffic light! Yellow- Ilani na Red – Simama
HUSBAND: Yeah yeah swity! Ndio hivyo.
WIFE: Na je Green Card??
HUSBAND: Aaaah! Hakuna kitu kama hicho.

WIFE: Nataka Arsenal ishinde world cup.
HUSBAND: [kimya]
WIFE: Ni nani yule mzee anakaa kama Mr. Bean??
HUSBAND: Yeees swity, yule ni kocha wa Arsenal, anaitwa Arsene Wenger.
WIFE: Oooooh! inamaanisha yule kocha mwengine ni Chelsea Wenger??
HUSBAND: [Kabadilisha channel]

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Angalia huyu dada alivyoumbuka, Duh! Alijua haoni!!!

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Dem anatoka kuoga akiwa na kanga moja tu anaskia hodi,kufungua mlango akakuta ni jirani yake frank ambaye ni kipofu, akamkaribisha ndani akakaa, dem kavua ile kanga akabaki uchi akainama akaanza kujipaka mafuta akijua frank hamuoni na mazungumzo yakawa ni Haya..

DEM: VIPI FRANK MBONA UMEPOTEA YAANI HUONEKANI SIKU HIZI..?

FRANK: AH NILIENDA INDIA KUFANYIWA OPERESHENI YA MACHO SASA HIVI NAONA VIZURI KABISA!…

😂😂😂

🏃🏻🏃🏻🏃🏻🏃🏻🏃🏻


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Haya mapenzi jamani! Umewah kumpenda kwa kihivi??

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Sijui Kama ushawai fall in love ile haswaa..

yani unampenda mtoto hadi akikupigia ile sauti ilivo tamu unajiskia kutafuna na kuimeza hiyo simu

Akikuita tu “my love”unajiskia tu kuvua nguo mwenywe
..
hicho kiupendo ukiwa nae unajskia unaweza piga wanaume 8 kwa pamoja

Yani ile love mtashinda pamoja kutwa nzima afu usiku unakopa salio umpigie muongee

Yani yale mapenz kiasi ukiona love story za romeo na Juliet unaona hakuna wanachofanya coz mapenz yao hayafikii yenu..

ile true love akikuangalia machoni akuguse mashavu afu akwambie,”I love u”
Unajishikilia kwenye ukuta usizimie..

yani ukimfikiria unaweza kulala chini ya kitanda Ku dilute hiyo feeling coz ni too much..

Umewahi kufeel hivyo??

Kama ushawai experience hivyo?? Basi HIYO SIYO “LOVE” NI “BANGI” PLZ ACHA KUTUMIA!
#ishakua_biashara_kichaa


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Angalia wanachokifanya Zuzu na msichana chumbani kwenye giza

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Zuzu: Mambo Anna!
Anna: Poa!
Zuzu: Kuna kitu nataka nikuonyeshe…
Anna: Kitu gan?
Zuzu: Twende chumbani kwako (wakaenda)
Anna: Haya nionyeshe…

Zuzu: Funga mlango na madirisha kwanza (akafunga)
Anna: Haya nionyeshe sasa!..
Zuzu: Zima taa kwanza (akazima)
Anna: Mhm…nionyeshe sasa!
Zuzu: Haya njoo hapa kitandani…
Anna: Ok, nionyeshe!
Zuzu: Ona nimenunua saa ambayo inawaka yenyewe gizani… Acha mawazo mabaya ww???


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Utajuaje kama unachoangalia ni filamu ya kibongo!!!!

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Angalia hivi

-Mlinzi wa Getini lazima awe chizi
-Mtu yupo kijijini, maisha magumu ana Wave
kichwani.
-Kama bosi atakuwa na kampuni basi ni lazima
itakuwa ya Clearing and Forwading au ya uuzaji
Magari.
-Lazima waende Kununua nguo.
-Jambazi lazima avae koti lefu jeusi na Miwani.
-Mtu akichapwa kofi huangukia kwenye kochi
ama kitandani.
-Actress huwa hawapiki hata chai.
-Kwa mdada akiishi maisha ya kitajiri lazima
avae nguo inayoishia mapajani.
-Actress even after 5 yeas utakuta staili ya
nywele na rangi za kucha ni zile zile.
-Anaweka Sumu alafu anaonja kama imekolea.
-Movie zote wapenzi huitana Baby..
-Main actor wote ni wafanya biashara na lazima
wataongelea mizigo kutoka bandarini.
-Wakinywa Soda basi lazima wabakishe.


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Huyu mchaga kazidi sasa, angalia anavyomfanya huyu mbuzi

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Mchaga alinunua mbuzi akamwambia mpishi Nyama nusu ipike pilau na ingine itie kwenye friza. Kichwa fanya supu, miguu fanya mchuzi chukuchuku. Ngozi usitupe tutafanya mswala, utumbo pikia ndizi na mifupa tutawauzia wenye mbwa. Kinyesi kihifadhi kwa mbolea ya bustani.

Mpishi akamuuliza Hutaki na sauti ya mbuzi tufanye ring tone kwenye simu yako? Mchaga akajibu Yesuu! hivi inawezekana? bac fanya hivyo tuwauzie na wengine hiyo ringtone. Chezeya mchaga!


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Madenge hakosi visa. Soma hii

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

MADENGE
HAKOSI
VISA

baada ya kumaliza form four baba akamwambia achague zawadi yoyote aipendayo
MADENGE: naomba pesa nikamuoe bibi maana siku nyingi amekuwa akiniita mchumba wake.
BABA: Shenzi, yule ni mama yangu mzazi huwezi kumuoa.
MADENGE: Mbona wewe umemuoa mama yangu mzazi sijasema kitu ww inakuuma? lazima nilipize kisasi ikikuuma muache mama yangu kila mtu akae na mamayake. 😂😂😂


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Je, hii ni kweli kwa wale wasichana wasiojibu meseji WhatsApp!!!?

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Ukiona hivyo ujue ndio hivi

Mwanaume mwenzangu ukiona unamtext msg msichana WhatsApp kaisoma hajajibu, umetuma ya pili kasoma hajajibu, ukatuma ya tatu hajajibu mmmmmh😨😨 hapo ujue mwenzio kaangalia kwenye profile yako, kakagua picha weee mwishoni akajisemea tu “Huyu.mkaka hapana kwa kweli”🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

🏃‍♂🏃‍♂🏃‍♂🏃‍♂🏃‍♂🏃‍♂


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