Vichekesho Vya Januari

Angalia huyu baba alichowafanya mtoto wake wa kike na boyfriend wake

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BABA OYEEEEEE💪💪
Soma hii…

Msichana alikuwa amekaa na baba yake kibarazani, mara akamuona MVULANA friend wake akija, yule mvulana alipokaribia tu, yule msichana akamwambia hivi:-

MSICHANA: Umekuja kuchukua kile kitabu chako, kinachoitwa “DADDY IS AT HOME?” by Ngozi Okafor

MVULANA: Hapana!, Nimekuja kuazima kitabu cha maombi kama kinaitwa “WHERE SHOULD I WAIT FOR YOU?” by Ngũgĩ wa Thiong’o

MSICHANA: Aaah! Hicho sina ila ninacho kimoja kinaitwa “UNDER THE MANGO TREE” by Chimamanda Adichie

MVULANA: Ooh! Vizuri, Basi usisahau kuja nacho kesho kitabu cha Okot p’Bitek kile kinachoitwa “CALL ME IN 5 MINUTES BEFORE” Utakapokuja shule.

MSICHANA: Usijali, tena nina kitabu kipya kinaitwa “I WON’T LET YOU DOWN” by Chinua Achebe

Baba mtu akawatazama kisha akasema

BABA: Vitabu vyote hivyo, mbona vingi sana, atavisoma vyote kweli

MSICHANA: Ndio Daddy, huyu mvulana yupo smart sana na ana akili atavisoma vyote hivyo!

BABA: Sawa! Usisahau kumpatia na kile ambacho nimekiweka pale juu ya meza, kinaitwa “I AM NOT STUPID, I UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING YOU’VE BEEN SAYING” by Shakespeare!

Na kuna kingine nimekiweka juu ya kabati la vyombo, kinaitwa “IF YOU GET PREGNANT PREPARE TO GET MARRIED” by Wole Soyinka.

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Jinsi ya Kubana matumizi X-mass

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Badala yakupika PILAU tutapika TAMBI kwenye Xmas maana tutakua tumeokoa sh.15,000/= Vitunguu swaumu 2000, Vitunguu maji 1000, hiliki 1000, Magome 1000, Michele wa 2000, Soda 3000, Nyama 5000 . Fedha hizi zitatumika kununua mfuko wa cement ili tuanze kujaza kibubu cha ujenzi wa nyumba badala ya kupanga. Karibuni saana maji ya kunywa tumechemsha ndoo nzima.

🎀✨Marry Xmas & Happy new year.✨🎀

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Kuwa na mahusiano na msichana kama huyu ni changamoto, Mabinti bwana!

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Binti: Hallow mpenzi, Mambo

Jamaa: Poa baby

Binti:Uko wapi?

Jamaa: Niko town napata lunch

Binti: Wow unarudi saa ngap? Nina njaa dear naomba uniletee msosi

Jamaa: Narudi baada ya nusu saa nikuletee nini?

Binti: Niletee chipsi kuku, soseji, mayai manne ya kukaangwa pembeni, baga, piza, coke take away baridi, mkate wa moto kwenye ile bekari ya wapemba na maji ya kunywa ya kiimanjaro.

Jamaa:Umesahau viti, meza, masufuria, sahani na beseni na vijiko.

Binti: Kwanini dear?

Jamaa: Naona hutaki kula unataka kufungua hoteli!

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Angalia sababu ya mwanamme kubadili jina na Kuitwa jina la kike, hii dunia ina mambo kweli

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Rashidi alimpa ujauzito mwanafunzi, akashtakiwa.
Kumbe Rashidi ana bibi yake mtaalamu wa yale mambo yao ya Sumbawanga, akampachika Rashidi i jinsia ya kike.

Alipofika mahakamani kuhojiwa Rashidi akasema sijampa ujauzito kwa sababu mimi pia nina jinsia ya kike.
Kwa kuthibitisha Rashid wakaenda kumkagua basi akashinda kesi, kufika nyumbani Rashid akawakuta watu wamejaa wanalia, akauliza kulikoni?
Akaambiwa bibi yako amefariki. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😰😰😰😆😆😆😆😆😆
Kwa sasa Rashid anaitwa Leila😀😀😀


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Ulevi noma! Angalia huyu mlevi alichomfanyia huyu jamaa usiku! Ungekua wewe ungefanyaje?

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Jamaa alikuwa amelaa na mkewe saa tisa ya usiku akastuka baada ya kusikia mtu anabisha hodi kwenda kufungua mlango
Akamkuta jamaa kalewa sana mlangoni kwao
JAMAA: Nini tena mheshimiwa kuamshana saa hizi?
MLEVI: Naomba uje unisukume.
Jamaa akiamini kuwa pengine kuna gari la huyu mlevi limezima jirani akamwambia subiri nikavae viatu. Baada ya kuvaa viatu akatoka na wakaanza kusindikizana na mlevi. Mlevi akaongoza njia
mpaka kwenye mabembea ya jirani akakaa kwenye bembea moja na kumgeukia jamaa na kumwambia.. Okay nisukume basi.


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Mzee wa kichaga na hela zake. Angalia anachofanya

236 Comments / 1000+ Vichekesho vipya: Vichekesho vya AckySHINE

Mzee moja alikuwa kila usiku anapita mbele ya bank anasimama,kisha anapiga honi,akitoka askari mlinzi,anaondoka.Hilo jambo likamkera sana askari mlinzi, askari akawa na mvizia yule mzee wa kichaga ,siku alipokuja tena akamkamata, akamuuliza kwa nini unakuja unapiga honi kisha unakimbia? Mzee akasema: Haki ya mungu babaangu , Nina pesa zangu ktk account hapa bank naogopa usilale usingizi ndo maana kila siku usiku napita kukuangalia kama umelala!!
😂😂😂😂😂😂


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