Short answer: He got twelve months!
Explanation: Well, you see, when the man stole the calendar from the store, he thought he was just getting a free calendar. Little did he know, calendars have a way of keeping track of time. So, instead of escaping with his loot, he ended up with twelve whole months of his life! Talk about a hilarious twist of fate! 🤣📆
Issa (Guest) on December 8, 2016
I used to have superpowers, but my therapist took them away. 🦸♀️😅
Victor Mwalimu (Guest) on November 28, 2016
Don’t give up on your dreams, keep sleeping! 😴💤
Susan Wangari (Guest) on November 26, 2016
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. 😲👀
Rose Mwinuka (Guest) on November 20, 2016
I’m not bossy, I’m the boss. Big difference. 😎👩💼
Stephen Malecela (Guest) on November 12, 2016
🤣 Pure genius!
Dorothy Mwakalindile (Guest) on November 5, 2016
😁 Best laugh of the day!
Safiya (Guest) on November 4, 2016
Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus! 🖥️🤒
Shukuru (Guest) on October 31, 2016
I am not lazy, I am on power-saving mode. ⚡😌
George Wanjala (Guest) on October 30, 2016
I’ve tried yoga, but I find stress less boring. 🧘♂️😆
Kijakazi (Guest) on October 29, 2016
I don’t procrastinate; I reschedule. 🗓️😜
Nassar (Guest) on October 24, 2016
You can’t make everyone happy. You’re not pizza. 🍕🤷♂️
Sarah Achieng (Guest) on October 12, 2016
😁 This made my day!
Ann Awino (Guest) on October 7, 2016
What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me! 🍽️🍽️
Janet Sumaye (Guest) on September 30, 2016
😂 This is a keeper!
Grace Wairimu (Guest) on September 29, 2016
Why did the golfer bring a spare pencil? In case he got a hole in one! ⛳✏️
Edith Cherotich (Guest) on September 27, 2016
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring, so I go back to being me. 🎭🦸♂️
Rabia (Guest) on September 27, 2016
😂 I’m dying!
Zuhura (Guest) on September 21, 2016
I don’t need a mood ring; I have a face. 😐💬
Mariam Hassan (Guest) on September 19, 2016
Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring. So, I go back to being me. 🦸♂️💪
Lucy Mahiga (Guest) on September 8, 2016
Why do fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales! 🐟⚖️
Salma (Guest) on September 7, 2016
What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie! 🥕😡
Arifa (Guest) on August 12, 2016
If Monday had a face, I’d punch it. 🥊📆
Khamis (Guest) on August 8, 2016
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots! 💻🍺
Lucy Kimotho (Guest) on August 8, 2016
What do you call an illegally parked frog? Toad! 🐸🚗
Henry Sokoine (Guest) on August 4, 2016
What do you get when you cross a sheep and a bee? Bah-humbug! 🐑🐝
Shani (Guest) on July 28, 2016
🤣 This joke is too good!
Tambwe (Guest) on July 28, 2016
I’m on a 24-hour coffee break. ☕⏳
Andrew Odhiambo (Guest) on July 19, 2016
😆 I’m still laughing, can’t stop!
Janet Mwikali (Guest) on July 18, 2016
My hobbies include eating and complaining that I’m gaining weight. 🍔📏
Yahya (Guest) on June 22, 2016
How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb it may concern… 🧛♂️✉️
Alex Nyamweya (Guest) on June 22, 2016
I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong. 🤷♂️😆
George Tenga (Guest) on June 17, 2016
Coffee: because adulting is hard. 😩☕
Alice Mrema (Guest) on June 17, 2016
I finally figured out what I want to be when I grow up: a kid again. 👶🤣
Sultan (Guest) on June 12, 2016
I don’t need an inspirational quote, I need coffee. ☕📖
Rabia (Guest) on June 9, 2016
😂 Can’t wait to share this!
Kassim (Guest) on June 6, 2016
It’s not that I’m lazy, I’m just highly motivated to do nothing. 🛋️😂
Jacob Kiplangat (Guest) on June 5, 2016
Why are ghosts such bad liars? You can see right through them! 👻😜
Shabani (Guest) on May 29, 2016
Classic! I’m still laughing! 😄
Lucy Mushi (Guest) on May 29, 2016
Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels! 🥯🌊
Makame (Guest) on May 29, 2016
What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? Hiss-tory! 🐍📚
Frank Macha (Guest) on May 24, 2016
I need a six-month vacation, twice a year. 🏝️😅
Mwinyi (Guest) on May 23, 2016
Dieting is wishful shrinking. 🍩😆
Stephen Malecela (Guest) on May 21, 2016
The best part of going to work is coming back home. 🏡💼
Shamsa (Guest) on May 18, 2016
The bags under my eyes are Chanel. 👜😂
Patrick Kidata (Guest) on May 13, 2016
Why did the smartphone need glasses? It lost all its contacts! 📱👓
Majid (Guest) on April 29, 2016
🤣 That twist at the end, though!
Edward Lowassa (Guest) on April 20, 2016
Who needs a superhero when you have a mom? 🦸♀️❤️
David Kawawa (Guest) on April 17, 2016
Why did the music teacher go to jail? She got caught with too many notes! 🎼👮♀️
Josephine Nduta (Guest) on April 13, 2016
Haha, this joke is a keeper! 📌
Anna Mahiga (Guest) on March 29, 2016
Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they’re shellfish! 🦪💰
Jackson Makori (Guest) on March 26, 2016
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing! 🍅👗
Francis Mtangi (Guest) on March 15, 2016
Sometimes I talk to myself. Then we both laugh. 😂👥
Abdillah (Guest) on March 11, 2016
I put the 'pro' in procrastination. 🏆😴
Peter Tibaijuka (Guest) on March 5, 2016
I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee. ☕📜
Nicholas Wanjohi (Guest) on March 2, 2016
What’s Beethoven’s favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-na! 🎹🍌
Susan Wangari (Guest) on February 24, 2016
If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life vest... I would miss you so much. 🛳️💦
Ann Awino (Guest) on February 24, 2016
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is on the inside. 🥶🍰
Jane Malecela (Guest) on February 22, 2016
Why don’t ants get sick? They have tiny ant-bodies! 🐜💉
Joyce Aoko (Guest) on February 20, 2016
I’m definitely telling this one to my friends! 😄
Husna (Guest) on February 10, 2016
I’m so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed. 😴😄