What dies but never lives?

Martin Otieno (Guest) on January 21, 2017

Why do fish live in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze! 🐟🌊

Benjamin Masanja (Guest) on January 17, 2017

I’m not overweight. I’m just under-tall. 🏋️‍♂️🤏

Baridi (Guest) on January 14, 2017

I’m on a 24-hour coffee break. ☕⏳

Mary Njeri (Guest) on January 11, 2017

Wow, this joke is a total winner! 🏆

James Malima (Guest) on January 7, 2017

Why did the skeleton go to the party alone? He had no body to go with him! 💀🕺

Edwin Ndambuki (Guest) on January 4, 2017

Why did the man put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets! 💸🍹

Ramadhan (Guest) on December 30, 2016

I have too many apps on my phone, but there’s no app to keep track of them. 📱😆

Paul Ndomba (Guest) on December 17, 2016

I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it. ☕❤️

Joyce Mussa (Guest) on December 17, 2016

I’ve got to remember this one for later! 😆

Fredrick Mutiso (Guest) on December 7, 2016

Some days, I amaze myself. Other days, I look for my phone while I’m talking on it. 📱🤦‍♀️

Grace Minja (Guest) on December 2, 2016

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time. 🤯😜

Michael Onyango (Guest) on December 1, 2016

I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing. 😎👩‍💼

Ahmed (Guest) on November 26, 2016

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she’ll let it go! 🎈❄️

Joseph Mallya (Guest) on November 19, 2016

😄 You totally won the internet today!

Wande (Guest) on October 28, 2016

Why does cooking take six hours, but eating takes like three seconds? ⏲️🍽️

Sharifa (Guest) on October 26, 2016

What kind of dog can tell time? A watch dog! 🐕⏰

Hamida (Guest) on October 15, 2016

Dear math, I’m not a therapist. Solve your own problems. 📚🤯

Josephine Nekesa (Guest) on October 5, 2016

🤣 This one’s fire!

Jacob Kiplangat (Guest) on October 4, 2016

I don’t make mistakes. I date them. 💔😂

Nicholas Wanjohi (Guest) on October 4, 2016

I’m on the gin and tonic diet. So far, I’ve lost two days. 🍸😂

Patrick Kidata (Guest) on October 3, 2016

😄 Pure comedy gold!

Salma (Guest) on October 2, 2016

I’ve reached the age where my brain goes from 'You probably shouldn’t say that' to 'What the heck, let’s see what happens'. 🤷‍♂️🤭

Dorothy Mwakalindile (Guest) on September 26, 2016

I don't trip over things; I do random gravity checks. 🌍😅

Sultan (Guest) on September 21, 2016

This one really got me, what a punchline! 😆

Ruth Kibona (Guest) on September 17, 2016

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me. 🚉🤔

Joyce Nkya (Guest) on September 13, 2016

I told myself I should stop drinking, but I'm not about to listen to a drunk who talks to himself. 🍻🗣️

Saidi (Guest) on September 11, 2016

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether. 📅🙅‍♂️

Kazija (Guest) on September 11, 2016

Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged! ☕🚔

Anthony Kariuki (Guest) on September 8, 2016

If we’re not supposed to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge? 🧀🌙

Mwajabu (Guest) on August 31, 2016

I want to be like a caterpillar: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and wake up beautiful. 🦋🍴

Hekima (Guest) on August 30, 2016

The bags under my eyes are Chanel. 👜😂

George Tenga (Guest) on August 22, 2016

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. ⏳🏃‍♂️

Lydia Mahiga (Guest) on August 12, 2016

What did the traffic light say to the car? Don’t look, I’m changing! 🚦🚗

Chum (Guest) on August 7, 2016

I’ve learned so much from my mistakes, I’m thinking of making a few more. 🙈😜

Mary Njeri (Guest) on July 17, 2016

Why did the robot go on vacation? It needed to recharge! 🤖🔌

Edward Lowassa (Guest) on July 14, 2016

Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me—I’ll laugh at you. 🤣📞

Alice Mwikali (Guest) on July 1, 2016

😂 I’m sending this to everyone I know!

Grace Minja (Guest) on June 28, 2016

This joke deserves an award! 🏆

Francis Njeru (Guest) on June 25, 2016

What do you call a snowman’s dog? A slush puppy! ⛄🐕

Lucy Mahiga (Guest) on June 21, 2016

You know you’re an adult when you get excited about things like ‘cleaning supplies.’ 🧼🛒

Joseph Kitine (Guest) on June 17, 2016

I’m not really a control freak, but can I show you the right way to do that? 😎🔧

Samson Tibaijuka (Guest) on June 15, 2016

I run like the winded. 🏃‍♀️😮‍💨

David Chacha (Guest) on June 4, 2016

What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, they just waved! 🌊👋

Sarah Karani (Guest) on June 1, 2016

What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman! ⛄💪

Betty Cheruiyot (Guest) on June 1, 2016

If Monday had a face, I’d punch it. 🥊📅

Sharifa (Guest) on May 29, 2016

😆 That punchline!

Juma (Guest) on May 17, 2016

Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools! 🐠🏫

Nancy Akumu (Guest) on May 16, 2016

🤣 That punchline was unexpected!

Zuhura (Guest) on May 14, 2016

Don’t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do. 🤔💬

Zakaria (Guest) on May 13, 2016

What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘🥔

Mwachumu (Guest) on May 7, 2016

What’s a cat’s favorite color? Purr-ple! 🐱💜

Tabitha Okumu (Guest) on May 7, 2016

I’m not bossy, I just have better ideas. 💡😎

Samuel Were (Guest) on May 1, 2016

Why don’t lobsters ever share? They’re too shellfish! 🦞🙅‍♂️

Nchi (Guest) on April 23, 2016

How do you know the ocean is friendly? It waves! 🌊👋

Nahida (Guest) on April 22, 2016

Why did the fisherman put peanut butter into the sea? To go with the jellyfish! 🥜🐙

Lucy Wangui (Guest) on April 17, 2016

If life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. 🍋👁️

Charles Mchome (Guest) on April 16, 2016

😁 Definitely my new go-to joke!

Patrick Mutua (Guest) on April 16, 2016

Haha, this joke is a keeper! 📌

Charles Wafula (Guest) on March 31, 2016

Why don’t koalas count as bears? They don’t have the koalifications! 🐨🎓

Abubakari (Guest) on March 31, 2016

The only thing better than talking about food is eating it. 🍔🍴